


Ah, The College Years

by the_things_nobody_asks



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Gay Panic, Happy Ending, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-16 08:06:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 36,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21504598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_things_nobody_asks/pseuds/the_things_nobody_asks
Summary: Catra and Adora meet as Freshman year roommates at Bright Moon University.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 64
Kudos: 622





	1. College is Freedom

Adora’s heart pounded as she dropped the thick envelope with beautiful shimmering script on the front, clinging to the papers it contained until seconds ago. Bright Moon University was one of the most prestigious colleges around -she didn’t think she had a chance of getting in, let alone scholarships. Yet, there it was, written right in front of her -welcome packet and all. Come next fall, she would be a freshman at BMU. 

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Catra wasn’t expecting much of anything to come from the short interaction she’d had with a scout at her last competition. He would be just like all of the other scouts before him. They were intrigued by her story, but nothing more -the girl from the wrong side of the tracks, the tossed-around foster kid, the half-breed. They pitied her and wanted her to be the underdog they could watch rise and then fall. She didn’t need their pity, and she was nobody’s entertainment. She didn’t need anything from anyone. 

Nevertheless, she couldn’t fight the smirk from spreading across her face when she opened the mailbox that day to find a large envelope with fancy writing all over it. It was addressed to her. 

“Just apply.” He’d said. “If you get in, nobody is going to force you to go”. 

He got that right. If she was going to go to college, then it was going to be on her terms. After all, maybe it could be her ticket out of this hell hole…

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

The day finally came when Adora received THE email. She’d been waiting for nearly a month and a half, checking her inbox religiously twice a day to find out who her roommate would be. At the time she applied, she had to answer a bunch of questions about herself , like what time she went to bed, if she was on any sports teams, how she felt about substance use -they had to have paired her with somebody she would mesh really well with after all those questions. She’d been dreaming all summer about that for-forever friendship everyone talks about finding in college. She opened it. 

Good Afternoon! 

We’re so happy to inform you that you will be living in the Princess Wing, room 16.  
Roommate: Catra Mendoza  
Email: Catmend@brightmoon.edu

Since you’re both early arrivals, you will be able to move in as of August 14th. You may pick up your keys at our office.

Sherri Dunnaway,  
Resident Life Office  
reslife@brightmoon.edu 

Adora read and re-read the email at least 6 times. August 14th -that was only a month away! She eagerly typed the email address into a new message, but then all words left her. She stared at the blinking cursor on the screen for what felt like eternity, suddenly very distressed. What do you say to a stranger you’re about to live with? Hi, I’m going to know where you sleep at night? Hi, I’m hoping we can be best friends for forever! No, no. Was this weird? Should she wait for her soon-to-be roomie to email her first? Then again, what if they were both doing the same thing? 

In the address bar she put, Roommates :) hoping the smile would somehow automatically make her at least a more likeable stranger. 

Good Afternoon! Too formal. 

Hey! Too casual. 

Hi there! Better??

I just received an email from the school about our living situation this year. It looks like you and I will be roommates! I’m excited to meet you, and I hope we get along great. I put my phone number at the bottom of this if you want to text me. 

Talk soon,  
(your roommate)  
Adora 

She sat back and put her hands over her face. It just sounded so awkward. She hit send anyways before she could second guess herself any further. Some communication was better than nothing, right?

But days went by -weeks, a month -until it was time to move, and still no response. Adora had packed all of her clothes sorted by season and she made sure all of her things fit her color scheme. College was supposed to be this big next step into adulthood -she couldn’t go all disorganized with a mish-mash of childhood decor. But what bothered her now in the passenger seat wasn’t whether or not her duvet cover matched the posters; it was the fact that this person she was going to live with probably already decided she hated her guts. Why else wouldn’t she have written back?

Her train of thought was broken when the truck bounced as it started over the bridge to campus. All Adora could do was stare out the window in amazement. The water was so blue, rolling lazily up against rocks. And there was the moonstone, shining up ahead; it sat high above all the campus buildings. This was it. 

After stopping for directions three times, they finally had a good idea of where they were going. The crazy-looking lady in a woodsy house had given them quite the riddle of instruction. The blonde couple two blocks down gave much more clear advice, and they had been very kind, if not eccentric about their plants. When they finally arrived, they were the only ones there -Adora’s parents liked to be early for things -when they pulled up to the castle and parked. That’s right, the castle. The school was a literal, shining, beautiful castle. Adora had never seen anything like this. It was insane. It was amazing. 

She walked awestruck through the halls of the building, so distracted by the grandeur of it all she practically walked right into the school’s President, Angella. The famous woman was a tall, erect figure, with big beautiful wings. Wings! Adora had never seen anyone with wings before. Where she lived, there admittedly weren’t any interspecies relationships, so she’d only ever really been around humans like her. 

“Welcome to Bright Moon. My name is Angella, I’m the University’s President. Are you looking for the Resident Life Office?”

Adora fumbled in her head for words before speaking. “Yes, I’m a freshman.” No duh. Why else would I be wandering around with my parents, gawking at everything? 

She gave a knowing smile, almost as if she could hear Adora’s thoughts. “You’re headed in the right direction. Just keep following the signs down this corridor. The office will be through the large doors and on your right.” And with that, she turned and continued on her way. 

Getting the key was the easy part. The hard part was getting all of her things moved into her room -once they found it, that is. It was a much larger room than she had expected, with a beautiful, gilded door and a window that looked out to the neighboring woods. Adora was somewhat excited to see that her bed was bunked with her roommate’s; she'd always loved the idea of having a sibling she could bunk beds with as a kid. 

Her parents had long since left and most of her things were unpacked when it finally hit her that she would be away from home for potentially a long time. But she didn’t want to be one of those people who came home every weekend. No, she was determined that she would make friends. Yet, here she sat alone in a half-decorated room -and she did feel alone. She organized her desk things to pass the time, checked her email again, twiddled her thumbs for a while. But her roommate didn’t come. It was 5:30 and Adora was starting to feel hungry. While she didn’t want to do it by herself, she knew she had to go eat. Maybe her roommate was there? Either way, there’d be other people. 

She thought she knew where the dining room was, but after 20 minutes or so of wandering, she realized she still had no idea where she was going. She must have looked it too, because a pair of girls stopped her. 

The short girl spoke -she looked way too young to be in college. “If you’re looking for the dining hall, you’re going the wrong way.” 

“You could, like, come with us if you wanted.” 

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Shadow Weaver was furious when she got the call. Catra’s coaches were wondering why she hadn’t already checked in -orientation was yesterday. Catra didn’t know she had to be doing things like checking an email -she didn’t even know she had an email! She happened to be at the library that day and checked her personal email, which had an acceptance email and some other info, but she didn’t have time to read all the way through it. Why didn’t anyone tell her there was a deadline!? She had already packed and was on her way to the door when Shadow Weaver caught her again. “You can’t stop me. I’m going.” Can’t cash that check if I’m gone, can you? Too bad. When Shadow Weaver leashed out to strike her, Catra actually blocked her and shoved her away. Never again. She was done. And that’s how she left it. 

Catra had to walk ten miles, carrying everything she owned slung over her shoulder in a tied up sheet, until she was in a better part of town when somebody actually let her hitchhike. She would get there, one way or another. After 3 hours in some stranger’s truck, she was still about three towns over and it was already really late. She needed to stop somewhere for the night…

She dug around in her makeshift sac and pulled out an old sweater she could fold up and use as a pillow. It was warm enough this time of year that she wouldn’t need a blanket...probably. She walked for a couple blocks until she found a park bench. I’ve slept on worse. She fell asleep quickly -the trip had tired her out. Or maybe it was that she hadn’t eaten a real meal since….dinner yesterday? If you can call it a meal. 

She awoke earlier than she would’ve liked. Did the sun always rise this early? So bright. She stretched lazily and sat up. Some people walking by were eyeing her. She was used to that. Time to hit the road. Another truck and minivan later and she was just outside the campus. She thanked the old crazy lady who drove her the last bit of the way and let it sink in that she was really doing this. As she took her first step onto the bridge to Bright Moon, she was overcome with many conflicting emotions, all crippling in different ways. Fear, relief, anxiety, excitement, and a little pride. Each step she took was another step towards a better….anything, everything. So long as she didn’t fuck it up. 

A pit formed in her stomach as she drew nearer. She’d missed the early check in date for athletes. She’d missed orientation. She’d missed practice and ignored the coaches emails -even if it was accidentally. What if they didn’t want her now? What if it was too late? They can’t just toss me aside -they need me. Still, the little voice in the back of her head replied, nobody needs you. And we don’t need nobody, she retorted, setting her jaw, walking a bit faster now. 

There were some people wearing “staff” shirts next to a sign that said “welcome”. One of them gave her a once up and down look. “Are you...a new student?” 

“Yeah. I need to talk to the gymnastics coach.” 

The one staff person looked at the other and shrugged, then gave a somewhat fake-looking smile back at Catra. “All of the athletics are housed in the Bright Moon Fieldhouse. Right here on your campus map!” Catra looked at the pamphlet -it sure looked like a lot of buildings…

“Thanks.” She started trying to figure out where building 18 was relative to her. Two passed the big shiny rock thing and one over. The fieldhouse wasn’t depicted to scale at all on the map. It was huge! It was a full on stadium, with an indoor gym that was three floors. She wandered around amongst other student-athletes, already in their routines, until she found some kind of directory. Gymnastics -second floor. She took the elevator up. When the doors opened, she could have cried. They opened to the most clean, non-shitty gymnastics facility she’d ever seen. The bars didn’t even have duct tape on them! And no graffiti on the walls! Pretty much everyone stopped to look at her for a second. Catra kept walking down the hall of doors, looking for the right name. 

Coach “Swiftwind” Zimmer. Pfft. What kind of a name is that? Then, Coach Hordak. She knocked. Nothing. She knocked again, praying for the silence to mean she had an answer to all her anxious questions. But the silence was broken by a yell rather than an opening door. “Catra!” 

She turned to see a man wearing metal brace on one leg and arm jogging towards her. “Come into my office. I have some questions for you.” He had a very demanding air about him. 

She followed solemnly as he shut the door behind them. “Sit.” It was a command. She finally let the sheet drop from her shoulders, which suddenly felt like the weight of the world. He was just staring, like he was waiting for something. What, an apology? Catra felt herself getting irritated. “I know it must have been a hard decision for you to come. Judging by your suitcase…” Catra blushed a little with embarassment. “...your mom didn’t want you to come.” 

“She’s NOT my mom.” Catra sneered. 

“At any rate, like I sent in that last email -which, I take it you didn’t read -you need to go talk to financial aid. Bright Moon University takes care of its students, but only if you’re willing to work for it. Now, I brought you here because I know you’ve got serious…” Catra tuned out for a second. Three girls walked by the window -a girl with darker skin, a small asian-looking girl, and a tall blonde that left her mouth open. Catra could have spent hours watching her walk, but it was a very short window and she was brought back to the conversation inside the room she was supposed to be a part of. “....could be your big break.” The coach stared at her for some time, again, seeming to expect something. He sighed. “You’re probably tired from the trip. Go report to Res Life, eat, rest. Come in tomorrow for your first day. Expect to be tested.” 

She just nodded. Suddenly, that was all her body was capable of. He said ‘eat’ and she viscerally responded like her body suddenly remembered it hadn’t eaten in two days. She stood, wearily, and picked up her bag. “Oh, and Catra?” 

She turned back to face him. “Read your damn emails.” 

She felt a sense of relief once more knowing that she hadn’t totally screwed it up...yet. But now she was hit by another wave of anxiety as she felt eyes piercing her back as she walked out of the building. She could practically hear their thoughts. Outsider. Riff-raff. Halfie. 

It didn’t take nearly as long to find the Resident Life office. There were huge signs everywhere. Huge, glittery, shining signs. I came to the land of glitter -hooray. She was met by a sandy-haired woman with glasses. “Hello there, dear. What can I do for you?” 

“I need to check in. Into my dorm.” 

“Of course! What’s your student ID?”

Another pit in her stomach. Is it time to panic now? “Uh….I don’t know what that is?” 

The woman furrowed her brows for a second. “You should have received an email that had your information in it.” 

Catra felt another wave of embarrassment. “I can’t get emails. I-I mean, I didn’t get any emails.” 

The woman nodded. “Okay, well I can use your name to pull up your account in the system then if you’ll just wait here.” She got up and walked to the back of the room where a standing computer was. “What’s your name, dear?”

“Catra Mendoza.” She began to write things down on a small note pad. A minute later she returned and handed Catra a small piece of paper. 

“You’ll also need this, this is your room key. Don’t lose it!” The key was bright gold with a bright purple 16 on it. The notecard the key was taped to said “Princess Wing, room 16”. Uck, PRINCESS wing? Are you kidding me? “And this will be your student ID card; we just need to take a quick picture…” What? “...if you’ll just look over here.” Fuck. 

Catra hadn’t showered in three days, she was dead tired, and she was wearing her rattiest T-shirt. She was too busy being mortified by the fact that she was having her picture taken to actually try to do something different with her face when the flash went off. Goddammit. She barely remembered the walk to her dorm wing -she was too busy trying not to cry at this awful picture! She looked like she was about to sneeze, and she did, in fact, look dead tired. At the bottom of her plastic ID was her name, and a number. 

Her room was on the first floor, 8th down on the right hand side. Compared to what Catra was used to, it was massive. Pretty high ceilings, a big window, two desks on opposite sides of the room, and...bunk beds. Just my luck. Catra was sick and tired of bunk beds. She spent her whole life sharing a bed with somebody else, or moving elsewhere horribly uncomfortable to avoid it. For once she wanted the space to sprawl out and not be around other people. Plus, it looked like whoever her roommate was took the bottom bunk. Cool. She hated sleeping up top. She was always afraid she’d roll off. She used the last of her energy to heave her bag up to the top bunk before plopping herself down on the bottom one out of shear fatigue. 

All at once, everything seemed surreal. This was HER college dorm room. There were already some decorations on the wall; a poster of some woman, a colorful painting of a unicorn, and some little christmas lights strung up around the wall where it met the ceiling. They weren’t even hers but it didn’t matter; this space was hers allthesame. Out the window Catra saw the painted evening sky, missing the city smog haziness she was used to. She inhaled deeply and closed her eyes. The air was cleaner here -pure -but it also smelled faintly of….lilacs? It was kind of sweet, and really nice. Or maybe it was the bed, which was without a doubt the most comfortable bed Catra had ever sat on. 

“Hi.” The voice made Catra’s eyes snap open. She jumped up off the bed and her head hit the her bunk above, which then doubled her over. She looked up at her roommate and immediately wished she could crawl under a rock somewhere and just die. It was the blonde girl from before, naked except for a fluffy blue towel, still dripping wet from the shower. For a brief moment, Catra considered pretending she had broken in and tried to steal things just so she could run away -she knew she looked the part right now. 

But the girl spoke again. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. You must be Catra?” She held out a hand, blue eyes sparkling down at Catra with sincerity. She stood upright and gingerly took it, noticing that there was about 2-3 inches difference in their heights -the other girl just had a much stronger looking build. 

“Yup.” Her hand was warm. Now a mere two feet apart, Catra realized it was her that smelled so good. And here I am smelling like shit. 

“My name is Adora; it’s nice to meet you.” 

“Ditto.” As much as she wanted to make a witty quip, to say something that would establish that they would not be friends -that’s not why she was here -Catra was dumbfounded for words. It was like all her angst, all her irritation was melted away by those eyes. There was a moment of silence as they let go of each other’s hands. 

“I’m sorry I took the bottom bunk; we can totally switch if you want. It’s just that I’m kind of afraid of heights.” She brushed a wet strand of hair back behind her ear. “Pretty, lame, I know.” God she’s beautiful. 

Catra shoved her hands into her pockets, trying to play it cool. “Nah, everyone’s got something. Heights don’t particularly bother me.” It wasn’t entirely a lie. 

“I-I asked if it would be okay in an email I sent you but I never heard back so…” She looked...offended? Catra sighed inwardly. Fucking email. 

“Yeah, sorry about that…” but as she went to give some runaround story, the boastful white lies melted away too. “...I don’t ever really get access to a computer at home so I couldn’t really check email.” Instead, the truth came out. “That’s actually why I’m so late. I didn’t know when we were supposed to show up...” What are you doing? “...I wasn’t ignoring you or anything.” 

It seemed to provide some relief to Adora, who now smiled that painfully genuine smile again. “That’s great to hear. I shouldn’t have assumed anything -I was just worried maybe you wouldn’t like me. It’s just that I’ve never really lived with somebody else before -I mean, somebody close to my age, that is -and so I was hoping…” She looked somewhat pleadingly at Catra. “...well, I was hoping we might be friends.” 

Catra struggled inwardly again between the voice wanting to snap at the girl, the one wanting to shower her with compliments, and the one that seemed to want to lay bare all of her insecurities to this stranger. “I haven’t known you for very long, but so far nothing screams ‘axe murderer’.” Not exactly a complement, but it was lighthearted enough to ease the tension. 

“I was going to get dressed and then go get some dinner at the dining hall. Would you want to go together?” On cue, Catra’s stomach made the loudest, longest, deepest rumble. She still hadn’t eaten. Her cheeks flushed red as Adora laughed a wonderful, hearty laugh that seemed to make the room just a bit warmer. "I'll take that as a yes."


	2. The Things We Do and Say with Strangers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora learns more about Catra's past, and the two become a bit closer -literally.

Adora didn’t know what to make of this girl. She went back and forth between being standoffish to open so quickly, and now that they were out of the room, she seemed very reserved and somewhat stoic. She walked with her hands in her pockets, but not in a hunched over way -she had excellent posture. She still walked with confidence, but Adora couldn’t help wondering if that was real or not. One thing was for sure, though: she was beautiful. 

Even though her hair seemed a bit messy and she had some actual dirt near her hairline and left arm, she was a sight to see. Her facial features were so striking. She had that darker olive complexion, some faint freckles over the bridge of her nose, unbelievably bright eyes that contrasted against her skin -one teal blue with green accents, and the other golden with brown and orange flecks -a killer jawline, and full lips. Catra had a smaller build than Adora, but even with the somewhat baggy T-shirt, Adora could tell she had an attractive figure. Catra -even her name seems kind of exotic. Adora had never seen anybody like her. 

“Do I have something on my face?” 

Adora quickly turned away. How long have I been staring at her for? “Wh-I, I mean, you’ve got a little bit of something right here” she pointed to the spot on her own head. 

Catra wiped the dirt away.. “Ah, great.” Kind of. 

When they reached the dining hall, they were enthusiastically greeted by Frosta and Glimmer. Catra seemed to kind of shut down as they approached. “Hi guys!” Adora figured she was just shy. “This is my roommate Catra. Catra, this is Frosta and Glimmer”. 

They were all taken aback by the sudden burst of laughter from Catra. “I’m sorry, Frosta? Glimmer? Those can’t be your real names!” 

“Well, they’re actually nicknames. We all kind of got our own during orientation.” Adora tried to ease the uncomfortable tension she could sense building. 

“So where’d you get yours, Cat-ra?” Glimmer crossed her arms over her chest. “Let me guess, it was the ears?” Uh oh. Not a good start. 

Catra’s ears lowered and she took her hands out of her pockets. “No, actually…” She took an offensive stance and raised her hands. “...it’s the claws”. Sure enough, she suddenly had claws. Adora had to admit she looked pretty intimidating. Time to diffuse.

“OOOOkay! I’m sure she’s just hangry from the move today, so let’s all just go eat.” There was a moment where nobody moved, then Catra literally put her claws away and continued walking, leaving them behind. After struggling a few times with the ID reader to get food -earning a few giggles from Glimmer -she made it through. It was the most beautiful thing Catra had ever seen. Food, everywhere -and it smelled good! Even the stuff she couldn’t identify looked good! She grabbed and filled as many dishes as she could carry. Just when she sat down at a table in the corner to devour her meal in peace, Adora sat down. Maybe that wouldn’t be a problem if there weren’t 5 other people seemingly attached to Adora. The Frost girl, Glitter, the darker skinned girl she’d seen before, another hippie-dippy looking girl, and a boy in a crop top sat down simultaneously. He was a very loud boy in a crop top. Sound erupted around Catra. It felt just like home. Such a bitter thought. 

It was different though. There was limited cursing, and at the very least it wasn’t at people. The yelling was happier sounding. Nobody was being threatened or abused -except for Catra, who had to endure so many people’s presence. It wasn’t all that bad. She was still having the best meal of her life, even if she did have to listen to this. She ate the meat first -chicken, beef, something else that kind of looked purple-y. Then the vegetables. Were potatoes even vegetables? 

“Catra?....Catra…..Hellooooooooo, Catra!” She realized everyone was staring at her. 

“What?” 

“Are you even going to breath?” Everyone else had one plate in front of them which had barely been touched. She had two empty plates and a half empty bowl. “It’s like you haven’t eaten in days!” Adora kind of laughed. If only she knew. 

“She’d better be stocked up for practice tomorrow. Coach is going to put her through the ringer.” Everyone turned to Glimmer. 

The little girl sqeaked, “You’re the new girl everyone has been talking about?!” There were a couple gasp-like sounds around the table. 

Adora turned to Catra, “You’re on the gymnastics team? I didn’t know that.” 

Catra continued eating...whatever this was. “Yup.” 

Glimmer stabbed at a carrot on her plate. “She’s supposed to be the best of the best on beam. At least, that’s what people are saying.” 

Crop-top boy leaned forward on the table. “Wow. That sounds amazing! I’m solid as a rock on the ground, but put me up there on a beam and I’m done for!” 

“Uh-huh.” She lifted the bowl to her lips to finish whatever sauce had been at the bottom. When she looked up, everyone was still staring at her. “What?” 

“Good thing this place is all-you-can-eat.” The mermaid girl kind of had a nasaly voice, but she’d been the quietest out of all of them, so Catra didn’t mind her so m- wait...all you can eat? 

“It’s all you can eat? Really? Like, nobody is gonna stop me if I get up right now and go back?” Adora thought it was cute how Catra actually lit up like a kid at Christmas. 

“Yeah, you just go back and get more.” This was the best thing that had ever happened to Catra. She practically ran. She grabbed new dishes this time -all the things she didn’t get before. But while she was getting food, the particulars of the previous conversation sunk in. Those were some of her teammates. She would have to practice with them. Compete with them. Compete against them. 

When she sat down this time, her head was clearer. “So...what sport do you guys all do?” They all seemed surprised. Adora certainly was, pleasantly so. 

The boy started first. “Well, I go by Bow, nice to meet you. I’m on the cheerleading team, but I love training with the men’s gymnastics team. Rings are definitely my fav.” 

Frosta Next. “Gymnastics. Bars are my game.” 

Glimmer. “Gymnastics. Floor.” 

“My nickname is Mermista, and I’m on the swim and cheerleading team.” Catra almost laughed again. This chick was the least enthusiastic person she knew. 

“I go by Perfuma. I enjoy all aspects of gymnastics, but I’m not very good at them. I’m a cheerleader.” 

Catra turned to Adora next to her. She’s gotta do vault. “I’m on the rugby team.” 

“Whoa, what? That’s so cool. You get to beat the shit out of people?” She took the first bite of her fourth dish.

“I mean, not exactly. It’s a rough game but only as rough as it needs to be.” Adora finished her salad.

“So….what’s your nickname then?”

“They call me She-Ra.” 

“She-Ra?” Catra cocked her head to the side. Adora thought it was kinda cute -she actually looked a bit like a kitten. 

“Named after Mara of the National Etherian Team. People say I play like her.” For a second they just looked at each other, and Catra almost felt like it was just the two of them. Almost. 

“Better, I’d say.” Glimmer ruined whatever moment could have been.

Catra mostly tuned out for the rest of the dinner conversation and ate until she physically couldn’t. By the end of it, she had 4 plates and two bowls stacked up to take to the dish rack. Everyone was a mix of disgusted and impressed when she went back in to get a small plate of cookies for the room. Catra was too satiated to notice. She felt the food coma coming on hard, but she NEEDED a shower. She walked into the bathroom tentatively, hoping nobody else would be there. She used some of somebody else’s shampoo and conditioner that was left in one of the cubbies. 

The water felt glorious. Catra couldn’t remember the last time she’d taken a hot shower, let alone one with no time limit. It was heavenly. But she couldn’t rid herself of the anxious thoughts that rattled around in her brain. What was she supposed to talk to Adora about? What were they supposed to do? She’d only ever lived with younger kids before -never anyone her age. What happens when Adora brings friends over? What happens if Catra ever brought somebody over after like, a date? That’s what college was for, right? Sex, drugs, and parties. 

What would Adora think? Should she tell her now? Should she wait until she actually brings somebody over? At what point are you supposed to talk to strangers you live with about personal shit? Obviously not to open up to them, but to warn them of what a shitshow you are. Despite the vigorous internal battle with herself, Catra had to fight hard not to fall asleep there against the wall. And when she turned the water off, she tried as best she could to air dry before putting on other clothes she’d brought with her -a sports bra and a pair of spandex she cut to fit her. Mental note: ‘borrow’ somebody’s towel next time. She walked quickly down the cold hallway. 

Adora was in bed, going over the dinner scene while Catra showered. Why was she so standoffish? And was her leg actually hollow? Holy cow. Her train of thought derailed when Catra walked in the room. Adora couldn’t help but stare. She was lean with gentle curves that caught the eye -it was the kind of body Adora always wished she had. She always felt so...boxy, like she had a boyish figure, but Catra... had... a...tail?! A long, thin shape slowly moving back and forth right behind her. She definitely had a tail. The fur was the same color as her ears, and it was still wet from the shower. 

“You’re staring again.” Catra pulled her bag off the bed and set it at the foot of the bunk beds. Adora blushed again. 

“I-I didn’t know you had...had…” She tried to gesture weakly. 

“I do.” She starting rifling through it to find her sweater to use as a pillow. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be insensitive. I’ve just never met anyone with a tail before coming here. Where I grew up isn’t very diverse at all.” She felt bad. She didn’t mean to make Catra uncomfortable. “I kind of like it though -I think it suits you.” 

Even though Catra appreciated the last bit, she didn’t let it show. On the outside she remained cold. “I sure hope so, cause there’s no getting rid of it. It’s been tried.” That struck Adora as a very dark window into Catra’s past. Sure enough, near the base of her tail there was a barely noticeable spot that had less fur -it looked like a scar. Tried by who? 

Adora tried to think of a way to ease the conversation back to a happier place. “Where are you from?” She watched Catra’s tail swish back and forth as she dug in her bag. 

“Fright Zone District.” She sounded distant. Clearly not the right question. Adora had heard terrible stories about that part of Etheria’s largest, most overpopulated, crime-ridden city. It was said to be home to the most relentless warring gangs, where you couldn’t walk alone during the light of day, let alone at night. 

“Why BMU?” Maybe that’s better?

“It got me out of the Fright Zone District.” Nope. She watched as Catra pulled out a tattered looking sweater and folded it up. She noticed Catra didn’t have any pillows or blankets. She’s not gonna use that is she? 

As much as she didn’t want to pry, Adora’s curiosity got the better of her. “Is...is it really as bad as people say it is?” 

Catra placed the sweater down at the head of her bed, as if it were a pillow. “Yep.”

Adora pulled one of her pillows from the side of the bed and held it out to her. “If you don’t have a pillow, I’ve got like fifty. Use it.” It wasn’t a command, but it wasn’t a question either. Catra could tell she was expressing concern from the look in her eyes. And as much as she was irritated by that concern, she accepted it just the same. 

“Thanks.” She put it over the sweater. Adora remembered Catra’s immediate switch to aggression with Glimmer earlier. If the Fright Zone District was really that bad, no wonder she was so ready to fight -she probably had to be…

Adora stayed lost in thought until it was interrupted. “So…” Catra was sitting on the floor in front of Adora’s bunk, loosely holding her knees. “I think we should un-bunk our beds.” 

“You don’t like it?” 

Catra was inspecting the nails on one hand. “Not really. I mean, imagine trying to fuck while we’re literally sleeping on top of each other.” Adora suddenly felt like she was sitting in front of a fireplace. She rarely ever thought about sex, let alone with somebody else in the room, and certainly not ‘right on top’ of Catra, or vice versa. 

“I guess I hadn’t thought of it that way.” She nervously rubbed the back of her neck. The little smirk playing at the corners of Catra’s mouth wasn't easing the heat waves to her face. Way to look like a dork. 

“What, you hadn’t thought about all the college boys just waiting to get in your pants?” All at once, Adora was very aware of the rasp in Catra’s voice. She really liked it. Her mismatched eyes were knowing and mischievous. 

Adora tried to keep her eyes glued to the floor but she kept letting them slip back to meet her roommate’s. “No. I mean, I never really had time for relationships in high school, so I’ve never done that.” It wasn’t a lie -not all the way at least. She was very busy in high school, but because she played rugby, not many guys were confident enough to approach her, and the ones who did, she never had any interest in. Come to think of it, she’d never really taken interest in anyone. Not even her sort-of boyfriend sophomore year. 

Catra chuckled. “You’ve never done ‘that’? What are you, twelve?” Adora didn’t mind that she was somehow even more embarrassed by the fact that she used a PG-rated vocabulary. She was much more interested in Catra’s motives. Was she already planning to sleep with people? Did she do that often? 

“Well….have you?” Adora watched her lie back lazily on the floor. 

“Have I what?” She sounded…put off.

“Had sex.” To Adora, the whole world paused for the response. 

“Yeah.” She was back to being so casual.

Adora didn’t even give her filter time to work. “How was it?” 

Catra sat back up slowly, that sly grin on her face a bit bigger than before. “Some good, some bad.” She shrugged. 

“Was he your boyfriend?” 

She stood and stretched with a scoff. “She. And no.” It took Adora’s brain a moment to process. 

“Oh....so-” 

“Goodnight.” And with that she was up in her bunk and the conversation was over. Adora thought about trying to ask her more questions, but Catra seemed to already be asleep. Adora tried her best to get up without making her bed creak so she could turn out the light. On her way back through the dark, she couldn’t help trying to imagine what the beds would sound like if somebody were to be having sex...that certainly could be loud. 

“I’ll submit a maintenance request tomorrow.” She said quietly out loud to the walls. 

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

The whole time they spoke, Catra’s heart was pounding in her chest. She’d never told anyone about that before. This total stranger was the first person she’d ever told that she was attracted to women. Did she kind of bend the truth a little bit? Yeah, so what? Her only ‘sexual experience’ was with her creepy older foster brother who asked her for a hand job a couple times -and there was nothing sexual about it. But she fantasized a lot about women. Catra knew her only real saving grace in this conversation was that her roommate was definitely a virgin -if she played it cool, she would sound totally competent. Still, she couldn’t help but feel a little panicky. Would she treat her differently? Would she tell people? What would her teammates think? What if Adora didn’t want to sleep in the same room anymore? Is being gay here considered bad? Could she actually get in trouble? If she had ever brought a girl home in the Fright Zone, she would have been done for. 

She was trying to hold perfectly still so that Adora would think she was sleeping. She hadn’t been expecting any further sounds, so when she heard her roommate get up to turn out the light, it took everything Catra had not to jump out of bed. “I’ll submit a maintenance request tomorrow.” She heard quietly from below. 

Adora seemed nice -too nice. Nobody was that nice for no reason. She had to have an angle. Everyone has an angle, right? But Catra had to admit, there was something about her that was so damn hard to lie to. She couldn’t imagine it would be any easier to steal from her or manipulate her the way Catra usually did -she was too innocent, too sheltered. Too nice. Too pretty. Way too fucking pretty. There’s no way she’s never had a boyfriend. That wavy blonde hair, those steely-blue eyes, the thick thighs, that soft, smooth skin -WHOA. Catra, you can NOT be that one gay roommate. 

She tried to clear her mind and let the sleep finally overtake her, but her mind was infinitely cluttered with anxious thoughts. It wandered until it picked up the quiet sound of her roommate’s breathing below her, barely noticeable. She focused on that and eventually drifted off into a restless sleep. She didn't know how long she actually slept for, but at some point she opened her eyes and her heart dropped. It had all been a dream. She was back in the Fright Zone on the living room floor. There was a sharp pain in her side as somebody kicked her awake. It was her foster father. No, no, no. “No.” She whimpered out loud. She sat up, clutching her side. Shadow Weaver was coming. 

She felt her breath quicken and become ragged as her heart threatened to race out of its fleshy cage. Sure enough. Her gravelly voice pierced Cara’s ears and deflated her like nothing else. “You thought you were going to run away, did you?” She was backlit by the dim hallway light, sinister and dark as ever. She seemed to almost float up through the floor -likely from hell itself, if there was such a place.

“No!” It was a yell this time. She was supposed to be gone. She was supposed to be somewhere else -anywhere else. She backed herself against the wall until she couldn’t get any smaller. As Shadow Weaver got closer, Catra put up her arms to block whatever blow was coming, but it never came. Instead she did something much more hateful. She grabbed Catra’s arms to subdue her -Catra only struggled for a moment. Then Shadow Weaver was holding her, touching her face and her hair, using that fucking voice. 

“It’s alright. There’s nothing to be afraid of. Nobody is going to hurt you. I won’t hurt you. You’re safe here.” 

Lies. Her voice was liquid poison - a toxic gas that filled Catra’s soul. She didn’t want to hear those words anymore but she couldn’t move. She couldn’t believe them anymore -she wouldn’t. But it was like Shadow Weaver was a broken record, and her arms cold, uncaring prison bars. All Catra could do was cry and endure. Cry because she would never get away. Cry because she would never be anybody. Cry because she would never be free of this place. Cry because she would never be free of the version of herself that lived here.

“Catra, it’s okay. Nobody is going to hurt you. You’re safe. Shh, I’ve got you. It’s okay.” But her voice had changed. Shadow Weaver never said her name that way -that soft -never shushed her. She sounded so truthful, but Shadow Weaver only ever lied.

Catra closed her eyes tightly and steeled herself against whatever mind game was being played. “You’re okay. You’re safe. I’ve got you.” But it didn’t sound like Shadow Weaver at all now. This voice was smooth and so soft -the words it spoke were so convincing. Catra’s breathing, still uncontrolled, picked up slightly again as she realized the arms which contained her weren’t cold at all. She opened her eyes again and watched in disbelief as her foster home morphed slowly back into her dorm room right in front of her. The fear and despair that squeezed the air from her lungs started to let go as her vision adjusted to the dark hues of early morning light. 

Her brain finally processed the signals her body was getting. She was being rocked very gently back and forth. Although she couldn’t see the face, Catra knew it was Adora’s chest she was being held to. There was the sweet smell of her shampoo mixed with the much more earthy scent of her skin -it was nice. Catra was too emotionally and physically spent to fight the urge to inhale into her roommates neck. So calming. The hand stroking her hair felt good too. Catra watched a few strands of golden hair hanging by her face. Without thinking, she reached a hand out and twirled it around her finger. She really was safe. 

“It’s okay, Catra. I’ve got you.” There it was. That sincere assurance. Catra believed this girl -this stranger she had only just met hours ago. And then she realized how ridiculous it was that she was letting herself be coddled this way, like a goddamn baby. Did she actually just play with her hair? Pathetic.

She sat up a little and pushed away from Adora’s chest, but she refused to meet her gaze. Catra wiped her face with her arms, ashamed at how wet it was. What even happened? Did she talk out loud? How long had they been like that? Adora let her go. “Are you awake now?” She was still leaning in very close. Catra nodded silently. Time passed and she tried to think of something to say, some story to come up with -what kind of crazy dream she was having about sword fighting and monsters, the end of the world. 

“Sorry I woke you.” Was all that came out. 

“It’s okay. I’m glad I woke up.” That irked Catra. Glad? Tsh. Sorry I’m such a fucking baby. “I was already awake. I had a weird dream.” Adora was the one looking away now.

Catra thought about it for a moment. She wanted to repay Adora somehow for helping her -she’d never calmed down so fast after one of those nightmares before. It was never that easy on her own. Plus, maybe if they slept in the same bed they would both sleep better. “If you want, just for tonight, we can share a bed. Maybe you won’t have any more weird dreams.” 

The blonde rubbed her arm. “Could we maybe sleep on my bunk? I’m...I’m still afraid of sleeping up here.” Catra thought about it and nodded. She didn’t like sleeping up here anyways.  
Adora smiled and began climbing down the ladder at the foot of the bed. Catra took a deep breath and followed slowly a few moments after. She paused for a moment at the scene -this beautiful girl she met today, who just cuddled her awake after a nightmare, was in bed holding the blankets open for Catra to crawl in. And she did. Her whole body was bathed in warmth as the blankets fell over her. Everything smelled like Adora. She was asleep so fast, she didn’t even have time to feel weird about how much she loved this.


	3. Getting to Know You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get the drunk Adora interaction we all deserve, dammit.

After the incident, Adora actually couldn’t sleep. She kept seeing it in her head. Catra was so frightened, she literally cowered away from Adora as she got closer. She even threw up her hands as if to shield herself. When she did that, Adora took a closer look at what she originally thought were some kind of stripe-like birthmarks on Catra’s forearms. Now she knew they were defensive scars and it made her sick. They were so symmetrical, on both arms. Somebody was very meticulous in how they hurt her -abused her. She was so angry she couldn’t even think about falling asleep. 

She rolled over and watched her roommate sleep soundly next to her, now looking peaceful and undisturbed. She was kind of cute like this. She definitely had some kitten-esque properties that melted the heart. Although she initially laid down as close to the other side of the cramped twin bed as she could, Catra had since wiggled her way right up next to Adora. In the brighter morning light, she could see all the little freckles across the nose that faded over her cheeks. Adora noted that Catra was very warm, like a little space heater. Adora was kind of sweating -she hoped her roommate wouldn’t wake up soon and see. 

She thought back to their last conversation before going to sleep. Was Catra a party girl? Did she sleep around? Would that really be a bad thing as long as she was safe? When she said she’d slept with other girls, should that have been a bigger deal? I shouldn’t have assumed she was interested in boys. Maybe she’s into both? Does it matter? 

She came to the conclusion that it didn’t. But Adora felt bad, like she should have found a way to tell Catra it wasn’t a big deal who she brought home. Well...within reason. No Crazies. What if that was something Catra was insecure about? And all she could say was ‘oh’, like an idiot. She decided she would tell her tomorrow night -which was really tonight. Adora looked at the clock. 6:47am. Oh boy. It was gonna be a long day. 

And it was. Practice was rough. She and Scorpia had to do 1V1 drills until they were both blue in the face with effort. Scorpia was even taller than Adora, and definitely had a bigger build, but Adora was faster and had better technique. Octavia was absolutely dominating Lonnie, and poor Kyle was getting slaughtered every time. 

After they broke for lunch, she came back early to check on her gymnast friends. It all looked like so much fun, but so much work. Bow and Glimmer both waved at her amidst the madness -people all over the place. On trampolines, vaulting into pits, tumbling on the floor, swirling around bars, leaping and flipping, walking on handstands...and there was Catra. She was in a matt black leotard with a hole cut out the back for her tail, just like her spandex the previous night. She really did have a beautiful figure…

She was doing cartwheels on the beam, back and forth. Adora didn’t know a whole lot about gymnastics, but she knew Catra didn’t seem to miss a beat. She was so graceful -it looked so easy. Adora noticed that almost nobody else there had a tail -only one that she could see, and it was significantly shorter. Adora thought the tail must be why Catra was able to be so easily balanced. There was a tall man yelling things at her. Well, maybe he wasn’t yelling. His voice just carried. But Adora had to admit, he did sound a bit snappy. 

Then Catra started doing flips off of the end of the beam -flips with turns and rolls. She stuck her landing every time. Her face was almost expressionless, her bright eyes seemed miles away. Was she even trying?

“I hate to say it, but she’s pretty good.” Glimmer appeared by Adora’s side. “How was last night?”

“What?” Adora’s mind instantly went to the night terrors. 

“She was so strange at dinner. Was it tense or awkward back at the room? Is she just as brooding there?” 

Adora relaxed. “Oh, no. It was fine. I feel like it’s going to take some time for her to open up, but I think we’ll be friends.” They both went back to watching her. 

“She’s like...creepy good. It’s like she’s a machine. Whoever trained her before straight up conditioned her -that must have been a nightmare.” Adora’s mind immediately went to whoever Catra thought she was last night. 

“Glimmer! Your turn to run through!” Somebody flagged her down from across the room. 

“Coming!” She turned to Adora. “I think we’re going to try and get the dorm together to play Never Have I Ever tomorrow night. I’ll text you the time.” And she was gone. 

The second half of practice was just conditioning. Adora always kind of like that part. It was a chance to just...go, push herself without really thinking about anything. The romanian deadlifts, squats, pull-ups, and bench press were her favorites from today’s workout. She didn’t like to be boastful, but Adora had to admit that there were times she enjoyed being so strong for her size. It wasn’t the attention she liked though, it was knowing that other girls would see her and think “maybe I could do that too.” It always drove her crazy when she would be one of the only girls in a whole gym of guys -girls would actually be afraid to go in. Here at Bright Moon, there seemed to be a pretty even mix. Then again, this gym was mostly for athletes. 

When she finished her last set of bench, she saw Catra out of the corner of her eye across the room. The gymnasts were all doing their explosive jumping exercises. Adora was glad today was a heavy lifting day. For some reason, she found herself hoping that Catra had seen her last set. Even though her arms had been a little shaky, she knew it was a clean lift. 

Catra was the same at dinner again -withdrawn and irritable. She scarfed down plate after plate of food, hardly contributing to the conversation, except to laugh once and say “That’s kiddy shit” to the idea of playing Never Have I Ever. Glimmer was not thrilled at the comment. Adora didn’t really know if she agreed or not. She’d only ever played once, and at the time it seemed scandalous. She kept nine of her ten fingers the whole time. I bet Catra puts her fingers down every time. 

Back at the room, she was still withdrawn, but it was different. She seemed more relaxed, yet more cautious. They talked about whether or not they thought they would enjoy classes tomorrow. Adora did, Catra didn’t. “School is so boring.”

“Then why did you come here?” They sat on the floor on opposite ends of the room. Catra was tossing a ball up and down that she’d ‘borrowed’ from the tennis room. 

“Gymnastics.” Adora held up her hands so signal being open. Catra tossed it. 

“And you don’t have any idea what you want to study? I mean, you’re already here. You might as well study something you find interesting.” 

“Women.” They both stared at each other for a moment, a bit shocked. It looked like Catra had surprised even herself with that little slip. She looked away and Adora giggled. 

“Well, then study women.” She knew it wasn’t what Catra had meant by the comment but she said it anyways. “You know, there’s nothing wrong with it, liking women.” Catra looked back at her again. Adora couldn't read the expression on her face. 

“Yeah? Tell that to my foster parents. They practically crucified one of the younger boys for holding hands with another boy.” Adora watched as Catra’s tail curled around behind her. She looked sad. Foster parents. Younger boys? She had siblings?

“Foster parents.” Adora didn’t actually understand what that meant. “You’re adopted?”

She shook her head. “Nope. You get adopted when somebody actually wants you as their kid. You go into the foster system when nobody wants you.” It made Adora hurt. 

“But, they have to want you, otherwise why would they-”  
“Money. People with foster kids get money from the government to do it. Turns out, nobody wants a halfie.” 

“Halfie?” Catra flicked a hand over her ears in response. “Oh….Well, I like your ears…” Adora knew this was all doomed to stay in whatever dark place they had gone. She really needed to know if it was her foster parents she was so scared of. Then again, she already knew the answer. 

She tread carefully. “So they don’t know you’re...that you like women?” Catra shook her head, no. “Did your foster parents ever ‘practically crucify’ you?” The room was still. Catra practically winced at the question, as soft as it was. 

“Tsh. Can we be done talking about me? My sad life, wah wah wah.” That door was locked tight and Adora didn’t have the key. Her defense mechanism was always irritation. Adora didn’t want to pry any further and push her luck. Catra would open up, slowly -she just knew it. 

“I really do like your ears.” Adora said again, hoping Catra would acknowledge it this time. “They look really soft.” 

They kind of perked up a little bit, which Adora took to be a good sign. “Uh, thanks. I dunno, they feel like my ears to me.” 

“Can I touch them?” Catra froze mid throw. “Is that racist of me to ask? I’m sorry.” 

She rolled it on the floor back to Adora. “I mean, if you want to.” 

“Really?”

“Sure.” 

Adora got up and moved next to Catra, who now seemed a bit on edge. Adora tentatively reached out a hand to touch the right ear, which swivelled away a bit as she drew near. It really was like a cat ear. When her hand finally made contact, she was surprised at how warm it was. She ran her first two fingers from the bottom to the soft tip. Catra went stiff for a moment and then relaxed, letting her body lean towards Adora. “They are soft!” Adora started to run her fingers over both ears with a bit more pressure. “How do you not play with these all day?” 

Catra scoffed. “Do you play with your ears all day?” 

Adora blushed. “No, you’re right. That would be weird.” She did sound a bit racist. “But they’re so soft…” 

“If you think they’re soft, you should feel my tail.” Adora stopped and looked at Catra, who again looked surprised at herself.  
“C-” 

“No, sorry. It’s kind of sensitive.” Catra actually got some pink color to her cheeks. She was so cute. 

Adora got up and walked back to her side of the room where the ball was on the floor. “What’s your favorite food?” 

Catra caught it. “Everything here. What’s yours?” 

They tossed and talked for at least another hour. It seemed to Adora they could go on forever that way, just talking, and they would never run out of topics. Even though Catra could be dark and brooding and a bit of a showoff sometimes, Adora liked her. She’d never met anyone like her, and it seemed like they were going to be great friends. They weren’t going to unbunk their beds. 

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Whenever Catra thought she couldn’t possibly make herself any more vulnerable, Adora would crack another chunk of the armour off -or wall, or however the stupid metaphor went. It was infuriating. Adora would ask if she wanted to go hang out, and as her inner voice yelled “get lost”, her real voice would say “yes” before she had a chance to process. They talked for hours every night, and Catra was never bored for a second of it. She thought she could talk to Adora for literal days and never get bored. If this was what it meant to have friends, she hated how addictive it was. 

Now at practice, instead of reverting to the mindless state of existence Shadow Weaver kept her in, she thought about what Adora might be doing. When she go home, even if Hordak had her doing splits to arabesque holds for hours like he did at that first fucking practice, she could come home to Adora and her frustration was just gone. Poof. Magic. When she had bad dreams, Adora would wake her and make them stop. Everything was Adora, Adora, Adora. Not to mention Catra hated being touched. She never let anyone touch her, let alone her ears. But when she let Adora do it, it was comfortable, it was nice. It was...intimate.

Worst of all, Catra didn’t even hate all of the other people. Yeah, they talked a lot and were mushy and sometimes really obnoxious, but she liked them well enough. The other day, she let herself be dragged to play that stupid game of Never Have I Ever, and it was actually pretty entertaining -mostly because none of them had done much and whenver Catra clapped and put down a finger, everyone oohed and ahhed.Adora put two down the whole game. It was priceless anytime somebody had to explain to her what something was -she would go all pink. Catra liked whenever she blushed because it made the blue of her eyes pop and matched the pink of her lips. 

The more time they spent together, the more Catra found herself noticing things like that. Adora’s attractiveness was dangerous. She absolutely could not fuck around with her. For the first time in her life, Catra trusted somebody, and somebody trusted her -believed in her. She couldn’t screw it up. All the little ‘what-if” thoughts she’d have whenever she watched Adora in the weight room, or when they walked to and from the shower together in nothing but towels, were locked away. Catra threw away the key.  
Turns out, there was a spare -Alcohol. She hadn’t drank in a while but she still felt like her tolerance was pretty high....but those goddamn, annoying thoughts. Glimmer had made friends with one of the seniors on the team, who offered to buy them alcohol. A couple people pitched in on a bottle of vodka -not Catra’s favorite, but she drank it anyways. Her, Adora, Glimmer, Bow, Scorpia, and Mermista all took shots. Adora’s cheeks were red 20 minutes after the first one. Catra laughed when they finished and everyone looked around and said, “now what?” 

“You guys have never played drinking games?” 

They all kind of looked around at each other, shaking their heads. She sighed. “Does anyone have a deck of cards?” 

Adora walked to her closet and came back with one. “Will these work?” Catra took them and nodded. She taught them how to play Fuck You, Ride the Bus, Smoke or Fire, and King’s cup. By the end of King’s cup, they were all sipping on very light mixed drinks. Catra’s was still pretty heavy. They were all pretty tipsy after two drinks, except for Catra and Adora. Catra had a nice buzz but Adora had been drunk since the first game -after like one and a half shots. 

The rest of them were just sitting and talking. Catra had just gotten back from the bathroom when she saw Adora leaned against the wall, drinking from the bottle. She swiped it. “Whoaaaa there. You’ve probably had enough.” 

“Bahhhh, “ Her breath reeked of raspberry vodka. “I’m just gettin warmed up.” She plopped down on the floor as Catra inspected the bottle. She’d practically finished it -that had to have been another two shots. Uh oh. She sat down next to Adora, who haphazardly slung an arm over her shoulder. 

“Adora is way drunk.” Bow laughed. 

Glimmer giggled, also very obviously drunk too. “Yeah, what a lightweight.” 

“Catra, are you even tipsy?” They all looked at her. 

She shrugged. “I’ve been drinking since I was fourteen. My tolerance is pretty high.” She tried to ignore how intently Adora was staring at her -how close she was. 

“You were a wild child, huh?” 

Adora’s face suddenly pushed into Catra’s neck, making her stiffen up. “Baaad kitty.” Something about her voice, the way she said it, flipped Catra’s on switch. The hand somewhat roughly scratching her ear wasn’t doing anything slow her heart beat down either. 

Everyone else laughed. “Ohmigod, Adora. You are such a weirdo. 

Catra pushed Adora away. “Get off, freak.” She didn’t want any of them to see her have her ears scratched. But as Adora flopped to the side, she reached out and grabbed the middle of Catra’s tail, giving it one firm stroke all the way to end, earning a gasp. That was a new feeling. 

“It’s sooooo soft. You’re so soft, I'love it” As Catra turned to glare at Adora and take her tail back, there was a moment of awkward silence from everyone else. “Uhhh, I don’t feel so good.” Adora put her face down on the carpet. “Stop spinning the room, you guys. Le’s all just settle down.” 

Catra was thankful when they laughed again, easing the attention off herself. “You’re the one one being rowdy, Adora.” 

“Do you guys taste barf? I totally taste barf.” Uh oh. 

“Alright guys, I think the fun is over. She needs to get to the bathroom, asap.” Catra stood and half dragged Adora up. 

“Wait, is she gonna be sick? Does she need to go to the hospital?” Bow’s eyes looked like saucers. “Alcohol poison is supposed to be deadly!” 

They were all so sheltered. “She’s fine. She just needs to throw up. And we’ve all got alcohol poisoning, dumbass. That’s why you feel tipsy -it’s a poison.” They all looked concerned. “If you take her to the hospital, all they’ll do is rehydrate her and slap her with a bill for two grand. Trust me.” One of her older foster brothers, who she actually really looked up to, had to go in once after dry heaving for hours. It earned him the beating of a lifetime afterwards. Then he ran away. 

“You’ll be fine too. Sleep it off, drink water.” She started to open the door. 

“What if the RA catches you?” 

Catra was getting progressively more irritated. “I’ve done this a time or two, alright?” 

As they hobbled down the hallway, Adora seemed to lean more and more on her. “You’re-” 

“Shhh! Be quiet.” 

“You’re so nice, Catra. I really like you.” Adora’s whisper was almost worse than her regular voice. Two more doors to go. “I won’t l-” Hiccup. “-let anyone hurt you, never, ever again.” Catra went back and forth between wanting to hug her and let her go tumbling to the ground. Idiot. Almost there. 

They made it to the bathroom just in time. It was a good thing Adora often wore her hair in a ponytail. She started vomiting out all the liquid she’d drank as soon as they got in the stall. At least she has good aim. Catra left to go back to the room and get a cup for water. Glimmer was still there, putting the cap back on the bottle. The two stood in silence for a moment, and neither was clear on what exactly they were. Competition? Acquaintances? 

“Take good care of her.” Then Glimmer was gone. 

Catra grabbed water and went back to Adora, who was singing incoherently into the toilet. “Shh!” 

“But I like the echo.” 

“Drink this.” Catra held out the water. Adora took it and gulped it down. At least I won’t have to fight her on it. 

“What do girls taste like?” Adora looked up at her with glazed over eyes, still so genuine. Catra couldn’t help but laugh at the bluntness of her question. 

“Why don’t you find out for yourself.” Adora furrowed her eyebrows for a second before giving Catra a once up-and-down and licking her lips. I didn't mean me! At first, Catra was horrified by the unintentional innuendo, and then a little intrigued, but embarrassed all the same. This girl -there’s no way she thinks of me like that. “What I mean is, you’re a girl. Haven’t you ever like...smelled yourself?” 

Adora shook her head. “Nope. All I smell’s barf. I wanna shower.” 

Catra turned to leave. “I’ll go get your towel.” 

Adora grabbed her hand. “B’t I need help. The world spins too fast.” 

“Relax, I’m just gonna go get your towel but then I’ll be back.” 

When she returned, towel in hand, Adora had fallen backwards onto the floor and was struggling to get her shirt over her head. She threw it on the floor next to her and grabbed the stall door to pull herself up. How drunk is she? Adora moved to take off her sports bra. That drunk. Catra looked away. 

“What are you doing?” 

“M’showering.” As she stumbled back into the stall door. “Ow.” Idiot. She really did need help. 

Catra held out Adora’s towel so that she couldn’t see her naked body as she nearly tripped over her underwear around her ankles. She walked right through the towel and into Catra, who struggled to get the it around her as they walked to the shower stall. When Catra reached in to turn the water on, she felt a hand go up the back of her shirt. 

“Hey!” 

Adora held her finger to her lips, looking drunk as fuck. “Quiet.” 

“What the hell are you doing?” 

“You can’t shower with these on.” She tugged at the shirt from the outside as she swayed back and forth -threatening to fall down. She wants me to actually shower with her? “I already tol’you. It spins too fast. I need-” hiccup “-halp.”

Catra thought about it for a moment. She could just keep her spandex and sports bra on. It didn’t have to be weird. Was she making it weird in her head? Adora probably didn’t see anything wrong with it -just two girls showering. Friends. She quickly took off the outer layers before feeling the water again and grabbing Adora’s little shower thing with all the soap and stuff in it. When she got back to the shower, Adora was already standing in the stream, water cascading down her naked body -she was beautiful. Goddamnit Catra. 

She had to laugh though. The curtain was wide open and water was spraying all over the floor, but Adora didn’t have a care in the world. What a dingus. She took a breath and stepped in, pushing the inappropriate thoughts down again. But it was a very small shower. Catra failed horribly at keeping her eyes off of Adora’s skin, and she was trying her damndest to keep a solid two inches between them at all times, holding her tail straight up her back so it wouldn’t accidentally touch Adora. It was an impossible task, given Adora had absolutely no concept of personal space and kept trying to lean on Catra, practically pressing her against the wall. 

She was cold from being indirectly wet but not in the warm water. Her nipples were straining against her sports bra and she hoped Adora hadn’t noticed. She slinked to the side and tried not to touch the shower curtain or Adora. She hated shower curtains -they just felt so gross, all wet and cold. The door creaked open. Oh, fuck. Catra instinctively backed into Adora until she was to the tile behind and there was no more room to back up. “WH-” Her hand flew up and back to muffle whatever stupid comment Adora was gonna make. She hoped that being this far back, the person would only see one pair of feet beneath the curtain. But there were two sets of clothes on the floor. Shit, shit, shit. Who is even up this late?!

Would they notice? Catra strained to listen for sounds but all she heard was the shower. Now she was under the water, which felt substantially better than the cold air around it. She was very aware of the warm water, and of Adora's body pressed against her back -it felt nice. Then two hands wrapped around Catra’s waist and gently squeezed. What the fuck is she doing?! Adora was squeezing and rubbing her hands ever so slightly back and forth on Catra’s sides, and then did the same thing up and down. It seemed to last for eternity. The toilet flushed. Catra held her breath as she watched pink and purple-slippered feet walk to the sink and then out the door. As the door shut, a hand left her side and pulled at her tail, from the base all the way to the end. Catra shuddered under the warm water as tingles shot up her spine. 

“Ah!” She let go of Adora’s mouth and jumped away. 

“You have such a nice waist. ‘Wish I’s more like that.” 

Catra was about to yell at her, but instead she just stared. Adora looked strong. She was muscular, but not exactly not feminine. She had narrow hips, but broad shoulders, which made her waist look small. She had a nice waist, as far as waists go. Catra’s eyes wandered up to her bare chest. Her breasts were larger than Catra’s, a bit rounder too, with barely off-centered peaks. So pink. They lingered there for a moment longer before travelling up to Adora’s mouth -pink -and then her still glazed over eyes, now clouded with something else. So blue. Staring right back, appraising, exploring. 

It was all in her head. It had to be. Adora was drunk off her ass. She probably wouldn’t remember any of this in the morning. If she wasn’t going to remember anyways, then maybe it wouldn’t be the end of the world if….No. Stop making it it all sexy. It’s not like that. But the measly two inches between them definitely felt electric, like something was ready to snap. All at once, Catra felt the alcohol she had drank. That was it, she was drunk too. That’s all it was. She stepped out of the shower into the frigid air to start drying off. She waited there shivering while Adora presumedly washed her hair. When she finally stumbled out of the shower, Catra wrapped her in the towel and picked up their clothes. She halfway carried Adora back to their room. 

Adora started to climb the ladder to Catra’s bunk. “What are you doing?” 

One food slipped lazily off a rung. “sleep better with you.” 

Catra grabbed her arm to stop her from climbing. “Get your drunk ass down before you fall?” 

She reached for the next rung anyways. “No, I wanna-” 

“We can sleep in your bunk, just get down!” Adora smiled and dropped down with a thud, losing her towel in the process. Catra was thankful she got into bed quickly, and she was unconscious instantly. Catra quietly peeled off her wet clothes and threw on a big shirt and a thong. On her way to turn out the light, she stopped to examine herself in the mirror. She’d never thought of her waist as being particularly small -Shadow Weaver always told her she needed to eat less -but Adora’s hands fit so easily around her sides. She shook her head and turned out the lights before tentatively crawling into bed with Adora. She sighed with relief when Adora didn’t stir as she pulled the covers up. 

Ope. Too soon. As soon as she relaxed, one arm snaked underneath her and the other clasped over the top as Adora spooned her from behind. The last thought Catra had before she drifted off to sleep was how well they seemed to fit together.


	4. Misunderstandings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra and Adora have their first argument. Catra jumps to conclusions (you know what they say about assuming).

Adora felt really bad about the other night. The last thing she remembered was trying to learn some of those complicated games -so many rules and numbers to keep track of. Glimmer told her that she was really drunk and that when she got sick, Catra took care of her. She had to have been really drunk to wake up and not remember anything -that was definitely embarrassing. When she woke up naked, she was very confused, but she was so comfortable cuddling with Catra that she didn’t want to make a big deal about it. She couldn’t help wondering if Catra was uncomfortable with her nakedness, but then again, if she was, she probably wouldn’t have gotten in bed with her in the first place. It felt like they had reached a level of physical closeness she’d never had before. 

It had been two months since school started, and Catra often slept halfway through her first class, despite Adora’s attempts to wake her. “It’s just some freshman bullshit they want us to go through.” 

“Catra, they’re trying to help us choose our majors.” 

“If it’s gonna be my choice in the end, why should anyone else have a say in it? What’re they gonna tell me that I can’t figure out on my own?” 

Adora shrugged. “I don’t know. I just know you should go. Failing isn’t an option.” Adora hadn’t meant anything by it, but she could tell that struck Catra. Although she felt a bit guilty, she couldn’t help thinking maybe it would motivate her to get out of bed. 

She knew Catra was really smart -she was intuitive, the kind you can’t teach. She had street smarts, and she was independent as all hell. Or, at least, for the most part she was. As they got closer, Adora realized that Catra did need others -she just didn’t like them to know it. Adora liked the feeling of being needed by Catra. Whether it was passing the ball, doing homework across the bed from one another, or cuddling a little bit before bed, she loved spending time together. 

She also enjoyed watching Catra on beam -she was incredibly talented. She was graceful and limber, and she made such harsh movements look smooth and seamless. Adora had only ever seen her miss a step once, and it was because she’d called out to her during a practice. Oops. But it was nice to know she could be as much of a distraction as Catra was to her during her own practices. Then again, it also made her want to do better, work harder, to be equally as impressive at her sport. 

Did that make them more than just good friends? One night, Glimmer and Bow had asked Adora if there was something going on between them. At first she didn’t understand what they meant; she told them that they had become really close in the last few weeks. They asked if there was any kind of romantic feelings involved and Adora told them no. But the more she thought about it, the more she wondered if her fascination -no, infatuation -with Catra was just-friend like. It’s not like she had anything to compare it to. Maybe that was the point. 

Catra made her feel unlike anyone else. Whenever they were jokingly flirtatious, it was exciting -like walking on air. Adora found herself hoping on occasion that it wasn’t so joking on Catra’s end. One night, Catra came home with a girl Adora recognized from one of her classes. Her name was Piper and Adora didn’t care for her one bit. The other day she’d been telling one of her friends how she thought Catra was “pretty hot for a girl”, and since rumor had it she was gay, she would maybe try to get with her “just to see how it is”. 

Piper was fairly short -maybe five foot four -and petite. She had auburn hair, blue-ish grey eyes, and a spray tan. Adora could tell because she could see most of her skin; she had on the actual shortest shorts Adora had ever seen, and her shirt wasn’t much better. I bet she’s doing that on purpose. She was flamboyant and loud, and she did this horrible, whiny giggle every time Catra said anything -and Catra seemed to be loving it. She had that cocky smirk plastered on her face every time Adora looked over her book at them. She felt her blood pressure rise every time Piper touched Catra’s arm with her hand. Adora couldn’t possibly focus on her homework like this. 

“Sorry to be a bother, but could you guys maybe be a little quieter?” She tried her hardest to sound polite, but her voice was very flat and she couldn’t keep from meeting Piper’s eyes with a glare. 

Catra scoffed. “Sor-ry, misses homework nazi. We’ll trying to do an interview here.” 

“Interview? For what?”

Piper smiled curtly at Adora. “I work for the school’s newspaper, and we’re doing a story on the gymnastics team after their big win last week.” She turned and put a hand on Catra’s thigh, which made Adora’s stomach turn. “All thanks to this kitty cat.” Kitty cat? Ukh. Gross. 

Adora unintentionally rolled her eyes in response and tried to go back to reading. Kind of. She was still listening. Or rather, Piper was too loud to ignore. “So, what do you think makes you such a valuable asset to the team?” 

“Easy. I’m gutsy. If I want something, I take it.” Catra’s voice was doing that thing it did when she was being flirtatious. There was definitely a double meaning there. 

Piper gigled. “I’m sure you do.” Are you kidding me? How desperate can you get. “And what kinds of leisure activities does the team’s up-and-coming star partake in?” 

Adora knew exactly the face Catra was making just by the tone of her voice. “I enjoy getting into a little bit of mischief every now and then. A little trouble never hurt nobody.” 

“That explains why you’re so...exciting.” 

That’s it. Can’t do it anymore. Adora snapped her book shut and walked out, both of them watching her. “The room is yours.” 

The last thing she heard as she walked away was piper saying, “I don’t get how you get along so well. She’s such a stick in the mud, and you’re so…” Tsh. Sorry I’m so damn boring.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Catra had heard the rumors about Piper, but she didn’t think much of it. She was alright, but tried wayyyy to hard. It was definitely a turn off. Although she had to admit, it was a pretty nice getting that kind of attention again. It felt good. Or at least, it did before Adora started being all pissy. It put Catra off -she was never like that. They hadn’t slept in the same bed for a couple nights; maybe she was telling the truth about not sleeping well when they weren’t together. At any rate, after Piper made that comment about Adora, the fun was over. As nicely as she could, she basically told Piper that Adora was the best person in the world and she could fuck off. Piper didn’t seem to like that very much. 

When Adora came back, she still looked...upset? “What’s your problem tonight?” It came out harsher than she’d meant it. 

Adora set her book down on her desk. “What do you mean? I don’t have a problem.” She clearly did. 

She just wanted to chill and have a good night. This was getting really annoying. “Sure as hell seems like it. Why the hissy fit earlier?” 

“What hissy fit? You were being loud. I asked you to quiet down, and you didn’t, so I left. That’s all.” 

“Well, sorry we couldn’t communicate telepathically for her to write her freakin paper thing.” 

Adora huffed. “She wasn’t ‘writing’ anything!”

“How do you know what she was doing? You had your nose in a book, like always.” Adora tossed her book onto the bed. 

“Her hands were too busy feeling you up to write anything! It’s obvious she was just looking to get with you. And I do NOT always have my nose in a book!” Adora had never raised her voice at Catra before. Catra didn’t do well with raised voices. Keep your cool. Keep your cool. 

“Yes, little miss perfect student, you do. You’ve always got to get the perfect grade!” Adora made a noise of frustration. “It’s our freshman year of college and we still have yet to do ANYTHING fun. And is it so wrong of me to enjoy some praise every once in a while?!” Goddammit. 

Adora was half turned away, arms crossed in front of her chest. “I thought spending time with you was fun.” Catra could hear her choking up. “ Sorry I’m such a stick in the mud.” Oh. As Adora turned away and crawled into bed, Catra saw the light glint off a single tear rolling down her cheek. Catra almost felt guilty, but she was already in defensive mode, too damn angry to feel bad. 

So what if she heard that bitch Piper call her that? Why should she care what that random chick thought of her? Who was she anyways? Besides, Catra stood up for her! And what did she care if she was a bit handsy? Catra wouldn’t mind getting laid. She’d been feeling particularly restless for that kind of back and forth flirting lately. God, Adora was acting like a jealous girlfriend. Wait. Adora was acting like a jealous girlfriend. Was Adora jealous? Was that it? It couldn’t be. Catra looked over at Adora, who was very clearly still awake, just ignoring Catra. She still looked like she might be crying. Okay, now Catra started feeling bad. 

“Adora...I…look...you...” She sighed and went to turn off the lights. She didn’t know how to put this in words. She climbed solemnly up the bunk stairs and flopped onto bed. “I think just being with you is fun too.” Silence. “You’re not a stick in the mud.” 

Catra waited for something -anything. She just wanted to know that she hadn’t entirely messed things up. Maybe it was just seconds later, maybe minutes; to Catra it seemed like an eternity before she got a response. “Goodnight, Catra.” Adora sounded very tired. 

“Goodnight.” 

Catra was tired too -she hadn’t noticed how tired she was. Her brain fought the sleep for as long as it could, but eventually succumbed to the still darkness in the room. Catra’s subconscious was upset with her. “I taught you better than that,'' her inner voice said. “You know better than that.” It echoed off the walls of her mind until it was no longer her voice, but a harsh whisper -a hiss that grew deeper and louder until it was the fuel of her nightmares, the source of her every fear. That wretched woman. No, no, no, no. “No.” 

“When will you finally learn your lesson?!” Catra felt one hand wrap around the base of her neck and another arm snaked around her, holding her captive. She opened her eyes and saw the open oven door -the coils glowing -she felt the heat on her face as she struggled to pull away. 

“Please!” It happened fast, just as it had every time. At first there was just pressure, then a searing pain -and that awful smell. She would never forget that smell. Catra let out a futile scream, her voice breaking. “It burns!” She clutched at her forearm, sobbing, finding no relief even after the heat was gone. She clawed desperately at the hand on the back of her neck, tried to bite whatever was nearest to her, tried to get away. But she was held tight against her will. She was trapped here forever. The burns on her arm felt like they were going clear down through the bone. All she could do was cry. She stopped struggling. 

But her captor was crying too. “Oh, Catra.” She sniffed. “It’s okay Catra. You’re safe. I’m right here.” Shadow Weaver didn’t cry. 

“They’ll never hurt you again Catra. You’re with me now.” It was happening again. The room started changing -there were two desks and a big window -blonde hair, lilacs. 

She heard the crying louder now. Somebody was crying for her. A knock on the door. “W-we heard screaming. Are you guys alright?” 

“We’re okay. Just a nightmare. Go back to bed.” 

Adora. It was Adora. Adora was holding her. Adora was crying for her. Adora. “Adora.” 

“Catra!” Her name was a gasp. “Please wake up. I won’t let them hurt you ever again. Never.” She was rocking her back and forth, their foreheads pressed together. “You’re safe now. I’m here.” They shared the same breath. “I’m here.” She was safe. 

They just cried together like that for some time. Neither had any idea what time it was or how long they stayed that way. It was still nearly pitch black. Catra was somewhat thankful for that -she didn’t want Adora to see her like this, cowering and nursing old scars that had since healed as if they were fresh. “Adora, can we sleep together tonight?” Her voice was but a rasp. She felt Adora nod against her in response. Then hands moved her where they wanted her to rest for the night -face in Adora’s chest, pressed together with legs intertwined. She felt like they melted together perfectly. Never before had she been this close with another person, or this comfortable. Catra fell soundly asleep to the rhythm of Adora’s heart keeping pace with her own, a hand stroking her ears, and the smell of her skin. 

When she woke in the morning light, Adora was gone. Catra had to think for a time to remember what happened. She didn’t have to try too hard to convince herself it was real though. She still felt the residual burning. As she really looked around, she saw dark reddish brown smears on the pillow and sheets around her. Blood. She held her arms up, expecting to see open blisters where the skin had once peeled off. Just scars. Then whose….Her heart sunk. It was Adora’s blood. She’d clawed Adora. 

Her mind raced. Where was Adora? What day was it? What time was it? She had to find her. Without thinking of anything else, she was out the door and running. It was noon on a Friday. Adora didn’t have class on Friday. Where would Adora go if she didn’t have class? The library. People were pointing at her, staring at her. She didn’t care. She ran all the way to the library -and through it -her mind racing faster than her bare feet. What if Adora saw her as a monster? What if she never spoke to her again? She came to a screeching halt when she saw Mermista and her not-boyfriend boyfriend, Sea Hawk. “Where’s Adora?!” They looked at her with bewilderment.

“Uhhhhhm.” She looked Catra up and down. “Why would I know? Are you okay? Where are your clothes?” Catra realized she was in the sports bra and spandex she’d slept in. Oh well. “Girl, you look kinda psycho.” She felt psycho. She felt like she was going to go crazy if somebody didn’t fucking find Adora right this goddamn second. 

She turned around and ran to the other end of campus to check out the gym. Nowhere. Fuck! Where would she be! Catra sulked back to the room. Adora’s phone was on her bed, that was a good sign. That meant she’d be back soon! Catra would just wait for her. She was trying to think of what exactly she would say. Should she just explain it all and lay it all down? Should she apologize and then tell Adora how much she cared about her -how she really did feel safe with her -or vice versa? Should she let herself cry? 

Ding. Adora’s phone went off as she got a text. Catra picked up her phone and saw the message preview from Glimmer. 

Got the roommate paperwork, whenever you’re ready to switch :)  


Catra stared at it until the screen went black, not really thinking anything. She let it fall back onto the bed. Ding. Against every instinct, she picked it up.

I know this is hard. Catra might not understand now, but I’m sure eventually she'll…

She dropped it again, feeling numb. Adora really did think she was a monster. She was switching roommates, just like that. Up and leaving her. She thought they were friends. She thought….fine.

Fine.


	5. Painkiller

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra needs a night out. Trouble is, so does Adora.

Adora barely slept at all that night. She cried until her eyes wouldn’t produce tears. She hated them. She wanted them to go to jail. She wanted to protect Catra and only make her smile. Catra clung to Adora in her sleep, still slightly shaking. It was horrible the way she screamed. The marks on her arms were burns -fucking burns! She hoped they would burn in hell. 

One thing was for certain: Catra needed professional help, but Adora knew she would never ask for it on her own. Adora would have to make somebody help her. Glimmer’s mom would know what to do -she was the President, after all. When it got light out, she knew she wouldn’t be able to get to sleep. So she carefully slipped away from Catra, who protested slightly at the disturbance and loss of warmth, and cleaned up her shoulder and hand where Catra had scratched and bit her trying to get away. 

She texted Glimmer and asked if they could meet up and talk. She didn’t respond for another two hours. Figures. Most people sleep in. When she finally did reply, Adora practically jumped on her phone. 

Are you guys okay? Last night was pretty scary. I think the whole hall woke up…

That’s kind of what I want to talk to you about. Can you meet me somewhere?

I’m just now getting out of class. Wanna talk in my room? 

Sure. Be there in five. 

K 

Adora knew she could trust Glimmer, but she still felt bad, like she was somehow going behind Catra’s back. But this was for the best. She needed this. She knocked on Glimmer’s door. “Hey, I asked my roommate if her and her friends could study somewhere else. We’ve got time.”  
Adora walked in slowly. “Thanks.” 

Glimmer sat on her bed and Adora took her roommate’s on the other side. “So...what’s going on?” 

“Catra-” 

“Adora, your hand!” Glimmer’s eyes went wide. “Did she do that to you?” 

“No, no. I mean, yes.” Adora sighed. “She has night terrors.” 

“You mean nightmares?” 

Adora shook her head. “No, night terrors. They’re like nightmares, except way worse. It’s like she’s awake, but somewhere else and she can’t come out of it.” Glimmer didn’t seem to understand. Adora held up her hand. “She was trying to protect herself. She thought I was somebody else; she thought I was trying to hurt her”. Adora began to choke up again. “She’s been through some horrible things and I think she needs real help -like, therapy.” 

“So why come to me?” 

“Well, I figured since your mom runs the school, you might know of a way that I could get her help without her knowing. She’ll never go on her own.” 

Glimmer thought for a moment. “I’m almost positive there’s a way to report crazy stuff like this anonymously, but I don’t know for sure. I’ll talk to my mom and get back to you.” 

“Thanks.” 

“I know this is poor timing, but in exchange, do you think you could convince Catra to let me interview her for the school paper?” 

Adora raised her eyebrow. “You actually want to talk with Catra? Wait, somebody already interviewed her for the paper.” 

“Who? Piper? That idiot. She was trying to be all flirty with Catra but then I guess she made some comment about you and Catra told her to…” Glimmer tapped her finger on her chin. “What was it again? It was really good. Ah! ‘Eat a bag of dicks.’” She laughed. Adora felt a twinge of guilt. She hadn’t stayed long enough to hear that part. She was just so infuriated when that girl put her hands on Catra. Catra was too good for her. Catra was too witty and too...hers. There was a possessiveness there Adora had never realized. When did she start thinking like that? Since when was she a jealous person?

“I’ll see what I can do. You think you’ll actually be able to not butt heads for long enough?”  
Glimmer shrugged. “We’ll find out.” 

Adora got up. “I think I’m gonna go on a walk to clear my head a little bit, but let me know what your mom says.” 

“Will do.” 

Adora walked back to her and Catra’s room, only to find Catra still curled up in a ball, asleep. For a moment, she thought about crawling back into bed with her, but she really did want to go on a walk -away from class, from people, from stress. She tossed her phone on the bed and left again. She walked around the entirety of the campus, starting near the gym, trailing through the academic wing, around the track to the library, then the back way around the outside edge by the water before re-entering the main dormitory building. She’d been walking for nearly an hour and a half -it did help a little. The air was so crisp this time of year, and the water looked so beautiful. I should bring Catra here. 

Catra. She’s probably awake now. Adora was nervous to see how she was doing today. They hadn’t really spoken since their fight last night. Fight? Yeah, that’s kind of what it seemed like. She didn’t sound mad before she went to bed, maybe they’d be fine? Adora felt like she should apologize when she got back into the room -she shouldn’t have been eavesdropping in the first place -and she certainly shouldn’t have made assumptions based on the fraction of conversation she’d heard. She could have at least asked Catra. 

She opened the door to find Catra topless. “Sorry! I didn’t know you’d be changing.” Adora looked away, shyly. She stole one little glance at Catra’s lean stomach before she walked towards the closet. 

“All good.” Uh oh. Adora knew that voice -that distant voice. 

“Did you sleep okay?” 

“Sure.” She was rifling through shirts and pants, not really paying any attention to Adora. Her ears were down and off to the sides. Adora had never seen her tail go back and forth like that before. It made her anxious. 

She checked her phone and saw messages from Glimmer. 

Got the roommate paperwork, whenever you’re ready to switch :)  
I know this is hard. Catra might not understand now, but I’m sure eventually she’ll get that you’re trying to help. In the end, it will be a good thing. 

“So, Glimmer wanted me to ask you something...” Catra stopped. Her ear twitched a couple times. “She’s wondering if…” 

“That bitch can kiss my ass.” Her voice sounded different -darker. 

Whoa. “Catra…” She didn’t turn around. “Catra are you okay?” 

“Fine.” The room felt cold. 

Adora felt her eyes start to water. This is what she was afraid of. “I-is this about last night? Look, I shouldn’t have-” 

“Don’t.” 

“What? I don’t under-” 

“Just shut up!” The room was silent except for breathing. Catra’s ears were all the way back now, her tail lashing back and forth behind her, claws half drawn. What was going on? She turned and walked out without saying another word. Was it just Adora’s imagination, or were the scratches on her hand stinging a bit? 

Adora was surprised she could cry anymore after last night, but she managed a whole 30 minutes of silent tears before texting Glimmer. 

I think Catra and I are fighting? Something’s definitely wrong. She just stormed out.

Maybe she just needs time. 

Maybe. 

If she needs time, then it won’t do you any good to sit around all day and mope. Lets go get dinner -just you, me, and Bow. 

OMW

She managed to tell them everything, starting with Piper, without crying -barely. Bow cried for her though. “It’s all so sad!” He sniffed. 

“Adora...it seems like you have feelings for Catra. Like...more-than-just-a-friend type feelings. You were jealous.” Adora just kind of sat there, taking it all in. She really had been jealous. But what if she told Catra and Catra didn’t reciprocate? What if things got weird between them? 

Glimmer wrapped her arm around Adora. “Look, if Catra does need some space to cool off, it’s not gonna do you any good to mope around. It’s a Friday night and I know where there’s gonna be a party tonight. We should go. It could be fun!” 

Adora didn’t feel like partying at all. She felt like curling up into a ball and staying that way. But Bow and Glimmer wouldn’t hear it. After dinner, they agreed to meet up at Glimmer’s around 8:30 and get ready together. When she got back to the room, she found a little handwritten note on her desk: 

Won’t be coming home tonight -feeling a bit wild. 

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Catra looked good -she knew she looked good. She hadn’t felt like she looked this good in a while. She wore a pair of black leggings and a tight crimson top with a little tie attached that she left untied. By 9 o’clock she was four shots and a game of beer pong in, with no signs of stopping. She even took a hit off a blunt, which she swore she’d never do after watching her older foster siblings struggle with drugs. The music was loud, the room was hot and packed with bodies, the lights pulsed different colors, and she needed to dance. Every fiber of her being needed her to dance, to be free, to not give a fuck about anything right now. Another shot and she would just about be there. 

Boys, girls -it didn’t matter -she danced with them all. She was pretty sure that at one point, a guy behind her jizzed his pants -pathetic. She didn't care what people thought. It wasn’t her fault that her body felt the need to move in provocative ways tonight. She was loving it, the power it gave her. Everyone watched her. Apparently including Adora. When Catra turned around to punch the asshole who’d just grabbed her ass, there she was. Of course. Of all the nights, all the parties, she was right fucking there. With Glimmer. Looking like that. Her hair was down and curled, softly framing her face. She was in a white crop top that was loose and tight in all the right places to show off that one perfect fucking freckle by her bellybutton. The shorts she wore made her legs look amazing. How could she possibly look that goddamn innocent and so fucking hot all at once!? And her lips...her mouth was hanging wide open, gawking at Catra, watching every move. Good. 

Catra grinned as she suddenly thought of all the wicked ways she could tease Adora. Sweet little virgin-ass, goody-two-shoes, miss never-been-kissed, Adora. Whereas before, Catra hadn’t really tried to get attention, now she put effort in, and heads turned. She purposefully placed herself between three people who seemed very content to dance with her. After what seemed like a long time, she finally locked eyes with Adora. She wrapped a hand around the girl’s jaw in front of her, tilted it to the side and placed her lips there, earning hollers from many of the drunk guys around. She felt satisfied as she watched Adora sort of step back. Glimmer glared at her and pulled Adora and Bow into another room. Catra enjoyed herself a bit more on the make-shift dance floor before making her way through the crowd to follow, taking pulls from the random bottles being offered to her on the way. She had the best buzz of her life -this was going to be a glorious night.


	6. 7 Minutes in Heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra has her wild night, and Adora goes missing.

Adora really didn’t feel like going out. She just wanted to talk to Catra, who was MIA since she left. Glimmer dressed her up and made her put on a little bit of makeup, but she still felt like a lump -a large lump. They all took one shot together before leaving, and by the time they got there, it had kind of started to hit Adora. She told herself she wouldn’t drink any more though -she couldn’t have a repeat of last time where Catra had to take care of her. Then again, Catra might not be home at all tonight anyways…

The walk there seemed to take forever. Glimmer told her that once they got there, it would be warm because of the people, but on the walk there she was shivering. Adora was thoroughly unimpressed when they did finally get there -it just seemed like a bunch of really wasted people crammed into a small house. Was this a fire hazard? Somebody was puking in the bushes, somebody was mumbling incoherently, and a couple was definitely getting too touchy right there in front of the house. Is this what college parties are supposed to be like? They had to hold hands and squeeze through the crowd of people just to get through in the main entryway. The temperature difference between outside and the front door was so great, it was like walking from a freezer to a sauna. Some guy gave Adora a gummy bear, which she then spit out because it definitely did NOT taste like a normal gummy bear. 

She couldn’t tell if it was just the moist heat and the pounding music and lights that made her feel kind of unsteady, or if she was already starting to feel kind of tipsy. Why did she have to be such a lightweight? They were almost through the thick of the crowd, heading for a room that looked like was the space for dancing. There was a circle of people on the outside being loud and cheering. Something was happening. Oh. It was Catra. Catra was happening. 

They were all watching her dance in the middle of everything. Adora knew she could move -she had seen her do floor routines -but she never imagined Catra moving like...that. Her whole body would roll fluidly, yet the movements would still be crisp, and her hips never missed a beat. Like always, she was confident, but now she really did look like she was having fun. Feeling a bit wild. The way she threw her hair around, ran her fingers through it...and then...down her body. Adora had heard the term “sex kitten” once before. When she asked what it meant, the question was merely met with laughter. She didn’t need a definition now -Catra was it. Oh, God. So this was more-than-just-a-friend type feelings. 

Adora’s gaze travelled back up Catra’s body and to her face. When they locked eyes, Adora was stunned, held firmly in place. Catra's heavily-lidded eyes, glowing their beautiful colors in the changing lights, hit Adora in the gut like a fowl elbow -but somehow in a good way. She watched in slow motion as Catra slid closer to several people, grabbed the girl in front of her and kissed her neck, still looking directly at Adora. Oh, right. Jealousy. I’m here to forget about it. Was Catra doing that on purpose? How could something that made her feel so bad look so, so good? 

Glimmer grabbed her by the hand and dragged her into the next room. Still loud, but there were admittedly fewer people, all gathered around a table. Mermista and Sea Hawk were there, looking somewhat sheepish. Adora didn’t really know any of the other people, except for some of the male rugby players. She’d never seen them outside of practice before; she couldn’t remember their names. One of them recognized her though. “Hey-hey, She-Raaaaaa!” He was definitely drunk. He ran up to hug her. She wished he hadn’t -he smelled like beer. Bad beer. Was there such a thing as a good alcohol smell? 

“You look great! I’ve never seen you with your hair down. It’s really pretty.” He went back and whispered something to his teammate, who smiled. He then turned back to them. “Listen, I know you’re a freshman, so you probably didn’t bring any booze with you. You can have some of ours, IF you play a few rounds of this truth or dare game.” 

“T-that’s okay. I really shouldn’t drink anyways-” 

“She’d love to.” Adora felt the pit in her stomach return at the sound of Catra’s rasp directly behind her. 

Neither of the older boys used any subtlety in sizing Catra up. They just nodded slowly. “Alright then, let’s play us a game.” 

Another pair of boys brought drinks in solo cups for everyone and the group of them moved around the table to sit down. When they set the box of cards down though, Adora knew they’d made a mistake. The image on the box was a mostly naked woman. The caption was: "...the sure-fire foreplay game". She immediately knew this was going to get uncomfortable. Suddenly she was very thankful for the cup of unknown liquid in front of her. Catra walked all the way around the table to a little ottoman cushion one of the boys was sitting on. “Would it be alright with you if I sat there?” She batted her eyes at him. He was already moving before she finished her sentence. Catra looked very pleased with herself. 

As they explained the rules, Adora could feel Catra’s eyes on her, and she could feel Glimmer giving Catra a death glare. You can only do two truth’s in a row. You can only chicken out of 3 dares. Anything that isn’t a dare costs a sip. Uh oh. Adora hoped her cup was mostly juice, but she doubted it. At first it seemed very pointed, all at her. The first two boys asked Adora truth or dare -she chose truth. She had to tell them she’d never been kissed, and that she thought feet were gross -at least, that’s what she thought they were asking. She also had to take two sips. 

Then other people got the attention for a while. Bow had to wear Mermista’s bra. Seahawk had to sit on one of the other guys’ laps. Then one of them chose Catra. Oh no. She was so ready for it. “Dare.” She had such a dangerous look in her eye. She really did seem wild tonight. 

He flipped the card over and read slowly, a grin spreading across his face that made Adora uneasy. “Oh, hell yeah. Give the person across from you a lapdance.” He high-fived the guy next to him. The smile spreading on Catra’s face made her stomach do flips. 

“Alright boys, I’m gonna need a better chair.” She said, standing. 

Glimmer interjected. “Wait, if you divide the circle by the number of people, I’M across from her.” 

“Too bad it’s not a numbers game, Sparkles. My seat is directly across from Adora’s.” 

Adora was confused. “Wait, I don’t dance. I can’t dance.” 

A chair was plopped in front of her, and she was helped into it as Catra drew nearer. “It’s okay, that’s my job.” 

Catra straddled Adora’s lap and Adora discovered that there was, in fact, such a thing as a good Alcohol smell. Of course Catra made it smell good. It was sweet -the way her skin smelled. She could tell she'd been sweating while she was dancing -kind of like how she smelled after practice, but it was a good smell. It was warm. Adora had held Catra before but this was VERY different -her weight felt good. Whatever she was doing with her hips right now felt so good, just rolling back and forth slowly, rocking into her. Every time, it made Adora feel like the knot in her stomach was getting tighter. “Uhh, Catra…” 

“Hmm?” The sound of her voice so close to Adora’s ear gave her goosebumps, which Catra seemed to notice. 

“I n-hn” She started pushing a bit harder. “S-so many feelings.” Damn. She hadn’t meant to say that out loud. 

“What’s that Adora?” Her name was a pur. 

“I need to talk to you about... nhh...something.” Catra flipped around and continued rolling, pushing herself back onto Adora, who felt like she was slowly melting, yet also getting closer to spontaneous combustion. Catra’s hands were going through her hair, rolling down her body, to her own hands, which Catra then placed on herself. One went around her neck -her beautiful neck -and one slid down her chest, over her smooth stomach, to rest on her hip right before she rocked into Adora again. She couldn’t help the small noise it drew from her lips and her eyes closed of their own accord. Catra held her hands captive where they were for a bit longer before she got up and started dancing right in front of her. Not touching her -just out of reach. So. Many. Feelings. Was this heaven or hell? 

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

“That’s so fucking hot.” All of the guys except Bow and Seahawk were sitting back, watching lazily. They were right. Adora looked so sexy like this. Her mouth was open, eyes halfway closed, drinking in every movement, fingers twitching to touch her again. She was practically panting. Catra revelled in it. That little whimper lit a fire inside of her that threatened to consume everything. She pulled in close one more time, just out of reach and watched Adora lean forward to try and bridge the gap. Then she stepped away. Adora almost whined when she realized it was over. Catra smiled. Beg me for more. 

The game was much more exciting when people were willing to do dares. Trouble was, most people bitched out. Most of the guys very quickly realized that Catra was one of the only girls willing to just got full throttle for the dares. Good, that would mean more opportunities to rile Adora up. She knew games like this often used "person across from you" or "left" or "right"; so she'd chosen the seat that was technically right across from Adora, but also the right, since there was an award space between her side of the couch and the cushion thing she was on. One guy had the balls to dare her to give another guy a blow job. She used a chicken on that and called him fucking pig. Then Glimmer was dared to kiss her. She laughed, knowing Sparkles would bitch out. Except she didn’t. She stood up, waiting for Glimmer to walk over. “What’re you waiting for, Sparkles? You gonna kiss me or what?” 

Her face went pink right before she practically smashed her mouth to Catra’s. She immediately pulled away. “There!” Catra laughed and grabbed the collar of her shirt. 

“You call that a kiss? This is a kiss.” She pulled the shorter girl back to her, but their lips met softer this time. Catra used her tongue to part Glimmer’s lips, which opened with a gasp at the invasion. The kiss was over quickly and Catra didn’t really get anything from it -only satisfaction from the look on Adora’s face. She really was jealous. Good. She’ll see what she’s missing. 

The next one was for Adora. She’d used up all her truths and chickens, and her cup was almost empty.“Let yourself be blindfolded and wait in the closet. The person chosen by spin the bottle will be your partner for 7 minutes of heaven.” 

This was it. This was her chance. Adora clearly didn’t know what that was -she would be a sitting duck. She was led, stumbling into a linen closet. Catra’s heart pounded out of her chest. She had to win. The bottle had to land on her. Somebody started the spin -faster, faster, slower, slower, pick me, two more, slower, one more. She bumped the table with her tail to give it an extra something. Yes. 

“She totally cheated!” Glimmer pointed at her. 

“I didn’t see any foul play. Did you guys?” None of the other boys said anything. Catra was escorted to the closet. She had 7 whole minutes. “Have fun.” Oh, she would. 

It was actually bigger than she’d expected -she could still kind of see even though it was dark. Being a half breed had its perks sometimes. The sounds from outside were actually pretty muffled, now Catra could hear Adora’s breathing. She waited a few seconds, trying to compose herself. “Hey Adora.” 

Adora’s breathing audibly got a bit more ragged. She closed the distance between them. “You wanted to talk to me? Here we are, alone. Let’s talk.” But as she spoke, she drug a nail softly up Adora’s belly, making her jerk. She was so easy. Catra felt like the most accomplished of hunters, and Adora, her prey. It was so exhilarating. 

A breathy “Catra…” was all she could seem to muster. It was music to her ears. 

“Yes?” She stepped even closer. They were less than an inch apart and Catra had to admit that it was hard being this close to Adora without just giving in to what her body was telling her. Touch -touch everywhere. She wanted nothing more than to give in, but no. She wanted Adora to be the one to cave. It didn’t take long. Her arms wrapped around Catra and pulled her in so they were pressed together. Both of them let out a sigh of relief at the same time -all the tension in the space between them was finally gone. But now the pressure was just starting to build. 

This kiss was different. Catra had never kissed anyone like this before -never done anything like this with anyone before. It was soft but demanding; she had chills but they were on fire. She traced Adora’s lips with her tongue, teasing her mouth open. Was this Adora’s first kiss? She was good at it...Her hands seemed to get more and more adventurous, getting caught in Catra’s hair and gently pulling, making her arch into Adora. Then one hand slipped down her back to the curve of her ass and squeezed, keeping them pressed together. No, Catra couldn’t lose control. But even though Adora’s drunken hands were clumsy, they were strong. Adora tightened her arms around Catra. The hand that was pulling her hair a moment ago now held her chin and tilted it up into their kiss. Even if Catra wanted to break free -and she didn’t -she didn’t think she could. She nipped gently at Adora’s bottom lip, and Adora mimicked her right back. 

Make noise, dammit. Catra put her hands up Adora’s crop top -her skin was so soft. She dragged her nails down Adora’s spine. There it is. Adora moaned into the kiss. Her hands went back up the shirt, this time going for her chest. Adora was wearing a stupid sports bra, of course she was. But Catra could still feel her nipples pushing against the fabric. She had such nice nipples. Adora suddenly pulled away from the kiss. Catra felt herself start to protest before she could stop it. The hand on her chin moved to her jaw and tilted her to the side, giving Adora access to her neck. Adora clumsily kissed and licked her way down Catra’s neck to her collar bone. This was doing things to her insides that she couldn't explain. The hand on her ass moved up, grabbed the base of her tail, and stroked halfway to the end. 

“Fuck!” Catra gasped. The first one sent tingles up her spine. The second and third made her knees buckle. If she weren’t pressing so hard against Adora she wouldn’t be standing. Catra was puddy in Adora’s hands. How did this happen? Adora propped her up a bit more on her knee between Catra’s legs, which brought all new sensations. Pressure there was all her body was craving -she couldn’t stop herself from grinding onto Adora’s leg, which made her moan again. Yes. Catra lived for that sound. 

Hiccup. Catra paused long enough to feel that they were swaying ever so slightly as Adora did. No. No, no, no, no. How much had she had? God. Fucking. Dammit. She HAD to remember this. Catra refused to be the only one to know how good this was -how good they were together. Catra would make it memorable. She pushed Adora back, maybe a bit too hard, and put her hands in her hair, pulling hard and re-sealing their kiss over Adora’s gasp. One hand pinched a nipple under the fabric of her sports bra, the other trailed down to the hem of her pants. 

And then there was a blinding light as the door opened. Suddenly they weren’t the only ones in the room anymore. There were some hoops and hollers and high-fives. Glimmer was glaring at her Catra glared back. “Just as it was getting good.” She hadn’t meant to say it out loud. Oh well, it seemed to irritate Glimmer, who stormed over. 

“Can I talk to you.” It wasn’t a question. 

“You just did.”

“Catra, please. Now.” 

They walked over to the kitchen where it was a bit quieter -just quiet enough. “What the fuck are you doing? What kind of game are you playing?”  


“Truth or Dare. What game were you playing?” 

Sparkles was so easy to irritate. “Adora told us what happened, Catra. None of that gives you the right to jerk her around like this. She cares about you.” All the deflated excitement seemed to convert to a burning anger. Cares? What the fuck did she know? “You have to talk to her.” 

“What does she need to talk to me for when she’s got friends like you?” 

“Because I’m not the one she’s got a problem with!” So she was a problem now? 

“Well you two will have plenty of time to have your own problems when you’re roommates.”

Glimmer shook her head. “What?” 

“I saw the texts about switching roommates.” 

Glimmer stared blankly at her. “What are you talking a-” Her eyes went big, and then tiny. “Why were you going through her phone?” 

Catra felt her fuze growing shorter and shorter. “That’s besides the point. Adora was going to go behind my back and switch me out for you!” 

Glimmer laughed. “Ohhh, my god. You clawed the shit out of her in your sleep, and she was trying to help you. Then, she asked me to ask my mom to get you therapy anonymously and get you some real help, you fucking psycopath. She knew you wouldn’t go in on your own but she didn’t want to embarass you.” Oh. Oh. Glimmer shook her head. “You dumb bitch. So that’s why you’ve been trying to make her jealous all night? Dragging her feelings through the mud?” 

Catra stared blankly back at Glimmer. Feelings. “For some fucking reason, she likes you Catra. She really, really likes you. And if you could get your head out of your ass just long enough to see that, maybe you wouldn’t need to be so paranoid and manipulative all the time.” 

Adora wanted her too -she'd been jealous tonight. “Or maybe you just do it because you like to make people hurt. But let me tell you this…” Glimmer closed in. “If you ever, and I mean ever, fuck around and hurt her -more than you proably already have, that is -I WILL make you regret it.” There was something actually frightening about the threat. Catra’s heart stopped. More than you probably already have. Adora had been...trying to help her, the whole time. All she did was push her away, try to make her jealous, be a massive asshole. God, she was the worst. 

One of the guys grabbed Glimmer’s shoulder. “Yo, you guys owe us twenty bucks. Your friend She-Ra just ran off with our last fifth of vodka.” 

Catra and Glimmer both said “What?!” In disbelief at the same time.


	7. Honesty is the Best Policy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra finds Adora and they talk. Kind of...

“Where would she have gone?” 

Glimmer threw up her hands. “How should I know. I was with you!”

“Well it’s November. It’s practically freezing outside and she’s not wearing much. We’ve gotta find her.” 

Bow had his hands clasped together in front of him. “Let’s not assume the worst. She’s probably inside somewhere back at the dorm.” 

The three of them walked outside and exchanged nervous glances as they shivered in the wind. And it was raining. Fucking perfect. Glimmer pulled her phone out and checked the temperature. “It’s 32 degrees right now.” Plus wind, plus rain. Catra had spent time on the streets this time of year in the Fright Zone -it could still be dangerous. Plus if Adora was drunk, she might not even notice how cold she was. 

“She’d better be inside…”

“And she didn’t answer her phone?” Glimmer shook her head. 

“It’s dead. It went straight to voicemail.” 

They walked back to the dormitory and there was no sign of her. Glimmer texted everyone and asked if they had seen her. Nobody had since before or during the party. Shit. “We’ve got to split up.” Adora went on walks all the time. She bragged about knowing every inch of campus. Great. Catra hoped she was in some building asleep or, hell, head in the toilet, singing her drunk little heart out. “You guys check the gym, I’ll go…” She remembered Adora talking about one spot a while ago near the bridge to campus. She’d wanted to have a picnic there one morning but Catra wanted to sleep in. “I’ll check around the other side of campus. She might be there.” 

Catra grabbed Adora’s winter coat from the back of the door. Bow scratched his head, “Why would she be on the other side of campus?” 

“No idea.” Catra answered, already halfway down the hall. She took a bike path through the trees that skirted around the side of campus, looking left and right. C’mon Adora, where are you. “Adora!” She called. No response. She kept going. “Adoraaaaa!”. Nothing. She saw a clearing up ahead where light from the moon stone came through. Bingo. There she was, curled up next to the railing, head on her knees, shivering. “Adora.” Catra knelt down next to her, breathing hard. She was soaked, her white shirt now translucent. “Adora.” She shook her shoulders. 

Adora lifted her head slowly and her eyes opened halfway. “Catra?” She perked up. “I wanted to take you here. It’s so pretty. I was looking at it b-but I got so tired.” 

“Shut up, dummy. We need to get you back inside.” Catra put the jacket over her shoulders and held out her hand to help Adora up. She took it, but that was the extent of the effort she put into standing up. Catra had to pull her up. She was shivering so hard -they left the party like forty minutes ago. Her hands were like ice. 

’Catra, I’m sorry I was s-snappy the other night. The truth is, I was jealous. I-”

“Adora, you really don’t need to apologize. You did nothing wrong. I’m the one who should apologize.” 

“N-no, you don’t get it. I like you.” 

Catra smiled. “I like you too.” 

Adora shook her head. “No, no. I like-like you, Catra.” 

Catra paused momentarily. “Adora,” She made sure Adora was watching her expression “I like you too.” It still took a few moments to process. Even though Adora’s cheeks were already red from the cold, Catra knew she was blushing. 

“Oh.” They walked in silence until just before the building. “W-why didn’t you say anything before?” 

“Why didn’t you?” 

“I d-didn’t think I was your type.” 

Catra laughed “What, and I was supposed to think I was yours?” Adora didn’t think it was that funny. “I should’ve just been up front with you. I’m sorry.” 

They stepped inside. “We both could have b-been better.” 

“Adora!” Glimmer and Bow ran towards them. “Where were you?!” 

“She was by the waterfront.” Glimmer was silently thanking Catra with her eyes. 

“You’re so cold.” 

“I’m gonna throw her in the shower.” 

Glimmer cocked an eyebrow. It was then that Catra noticed her pink and purple slippers -the ones from the last time she and Adora showered together. She shrugged. “Alright, but remember what I said.” 

“Huh?” Adora was confused. 

Catra nodded and continued for the bathroom. They stopped in front of the shower curtain. “I’m going to go get your towel. You get the shower going. We’ve gotta get you out of these wet clothes.” 

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Between the little nap she’d had by the water and the frigid walk back, Adora felt more sober now, albeit not by much. At least things weren’t spinning so fast now, but she was still tired, and cold. Everything felt stiff. Just standing in the warm water with Catra sounded wonderful. She’d turned on the water to let it warm up when Catra got back. Adora peeled off her shirt, feeling somewhat embarrassed by how hard her nipples were from the cold -she knew they were visible. Catra didn’t seem to notice; then again, she was avoiding looking at Adora at all. She hung her towel on the rack next to the shower and walked over to Catra. 

She closed the distance between them and reached for the hem of Catra’s top. “Adora, what’re you doing?” 

“You said ‘we’ve got to get out of these clothes’. So I thought…” She trailed off, pulling up on the shirt. Catra didn’t stop her, but she still wouldn’t look at her. Catra lifted her arms and let Adora pull the shirt over her head. Adora’s eyes immediately fell to her chest. She was wearing a really cute black bralette -it made her shoulders look good. Was that a thing? Could clothing accentuate non-conventionally sexy body parts? Apparently. 

Adora’s eyes travelled up to Catra’s face -her cheeks a bit more colored than usual. “We can’t both strip at the same time. Somebody could come in here at any moment.” It was true, the next shower stall was a good ten feet away. It might look a little strange. “You get in first, I’ll be right there.” 

Adora’s heart thumped. They were actually going to shower together. She turned away to peel the rest of her clothes off and go in the shower. Her cold skin was being bathed in heat, which started to slowly warm her on the inside. The shower curtain opened again and Catra shyly stepped in. Adora was doing her best not to stare and tried to concentrate on the water, but it was happening again. The air felt dense -something made it hard to breath, and it wasn’t the steam. Adora needed to do something. 

She reached out and put a hand behind Catra’s back to pull her closer so that they were both under the stream. There was still about an inch between them -not close enough. Catra made the small step that brought them together. There. Better. They were both able to relax without that distance. Adora wrapped her arms around Catra’s waist to hold her there, pressed together, the warm water cascading over them. Adora was too preoccupied by the pleasantness of it all to be embarrassed by their nakedness. That is, until Adora relaxed her arms too much and one of her hands slid down and brushed against the base of Catra’s tail. 

Catra stiffened up and got on her tiptoes, causing her nipples to brush over Adora’s. Catra had nice nipples. They looked like small gumdrops. Adora had the strongest curiosity to know what they would feel like in her mouth. It was almost like Catra read her mind -she pressed back against Adora to cover herself once more. But it was too late, the simple comfort of being pressed together was no longer enough to ease the tension again. Adora was suddenly very aware of how close their faces were. All they had to do was look up at each other and they could be touching. Adora thought Catra was doing a better job of warming her up than the actual shower. 

She let one of her hands wander up Catra’s side before lifting it to hold her face. Catra sort of leaned into it. “Catra....can I-”

“Yes.” It was nearly a whisper. Adora pulled them together for a soft kiss. At least, it was supposed to be soft, but the second their lips made contact, all hell broke loose. Catra’s hands rose to grab Adora’s hair, and her tail started moving up and down the back of Adora’s thigh, nearly making her jump. Adora didn’t know she could control it like that. She let her tongue explore Catra’s mouth the way it wanted to, flicking over her bottom lip to make Catra whimper. She liked Catra like this -her body was so honest, even when Catra wasn’t. They kissed until they were breathless and let their hands roam over each other’s bodies under the water, squeezing softly. The door creaked open and they both froze. Adora saw a pair of pink and purple slippers move across the floor. 

Adora had an idea. She stroked Catra’s tail, causing a sweet little sound. Adora held a finger to her lips to tell her to be quiet. Catra glared at her until Adora did it again, then she melted again. It was kind of exciting knowing they could be caught like this. Catra was leaning hard on her, knees trembling a little bit as Adora continued to pull on her tail, again and again. The toilet flushed and the slippers moved for the sink. Then as the door opened for them to leave, Glimmer said, “Have fun.” Adora blushed a little. She totally knew. 

The second the door closed, Catra pushed Adora back against the frigid tile. “COLD!” Adora yelped. Catra laughed with that sexy little smirk on her face. 

“Serves you right, asshole.” 

Adora was suddenly overcome with emotion. Happiness, guilt, lust, sadness -fatigue. Catra was so beautiful. Her hair was slicked down by the water which then ran down the soft curves of her body, making her praline skin shine. Her eyes seemed to practically glow. “You look good wet.” She said it without thinking, but she meant it. Catra looked surprised for a moment and then leaned in to kiss her softly. 

“You don’t look so bad yourself.” 

At some point they decided they should get out. It was like one in the morning, but to Adora it felt like they’d been up all night. She didn’t even bother to put on pajamas before falling into bed. Now that her body was warm again, she felt so sluggish -like all her muscles had gotten too relaxed. When Catra got into bed with her, she tensed up. There it was again, that damn space between them, making things difficult. Adora needed there to be contact. “Catra, can we cuddle?” 

Catra nodded. Adora opened her arms and signaled that she wanted Catra to come to her. When they intertwined their limbs, their bodies were so firmly pressed together that there was no space between them; it was like being one warm body. Kissing Catra’s forehead was the last thing she did before sleep took her, and the last thing she felt was Catra’s tail wrapping gently around one of her arms holding Catra. Becoming roommates with Catra was the best thing that ever happened to her.


	8. Let's Get Physical, Physical (Part I)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a set up for the next (spicy) chapter. 
> 
> Also, I'm contemplating adding a little Christmas chapter for the holiday season. Thoughts?

When she woke up the next morning, waves of anxiety crashed over Catra as she watched Adora’s perfect sleeping face. Her golden hair was still a bit wet from the shower, glowing around her head like a halo, some stray pieces framing her jawline. Her embrace was warm, and her breathing was still deep and even; Catra held hers for fear of waking Adora and ending the body-melting cuddles. Last night had really happened. Last night, Catra had liquid courage pumping through her veins -this morning she was full of the uncertainty that came with being emotionally vulnerable. Adora told Catra she liked her. She told Adora that she liked her back. How was that even possible? 

Adora was this gorgeous, kind-to-a-fault, passionate, strong, talented, smart, lovable person. And Catra...she was a nobody from the dark side of town. She didn’t belong with somebody like Adora. She didn’t belong here with all these plushy pushovers. It would only be a matter of time before her true nature kicked in and she did something that made them see that. Sparkles was right -she was really only good at hurting people. She didn’t exactly have any warm and loving role models...Besides, that’s how she got through life so far -she didn’t exactly plan to change it. Her ability to not give a shit was what kept her alive, kept her safe, kept her going. She couldn’t just start giving a shit all of a sudden. But she couldn’t exactly fight whatever this was either. Adora made her feel real, worth something, wanted. 

Adora’s squeezed Catra as she stirred, and the leg that was between hers slid higher. Catra’s attention was now delightfully wrapped up in the sensations her body was experiencing and she ever so slowly came to understand why she’d been such a bipolar train wreck the last few days -why she felt so out of control. She was in heat. It only happened every few months, and not always consistently. How long had it been since she’d had one? Catra couldn’t remember. She recognized this feeling in her gut, how sensitive her fur was, and how overpowering scents were to her. The smell of Adora’s skin was intoxicating, and the way she felt....Adora’s stirring made her freeze, and she became aware that her tail had been caressing Adora’s back -up and down, slowly. Stop that! Her tail had a mind of its own whenever she was like this. No, her whole body had a mind of its own. Did normal humans feel this way when they got their periods? Did Adora ever...

Her eyes drifted towards Adora’s slightly open mouth and licked her lips. It felt so good to kiss her last night.-the way her lip felt between her teeth, and how her tongue tasted. Only for a moment did she consider doing it again...snap out of it Catra, she’s sleeping. She forced her eyes to wander back up Adora’s face and found, with horror, that her sparkling blue eyes were open and watching her. “Good morning.” A slight knowing smile spread across Adora’s face. Shit. She caught me. 

Catra suddenly couldn’t tell if she was visibly sweating or not, but she knew Adora could definitely hear her heart beating. “Morning.” 

“How did you sleep?” 

Her voice cracked “Good...” Was this awkward now? Did Adora hear her thoughts?

Adora gave her another slight squeeze in response. “Me too.” She leaned her head closer so they could put their foreheads together. Catra’s body was screaming at her to close the distance between them and kiss her, but a small part of her brain that still seemed to be working said “do it and your heart will stop”. She knew it was true -it was already skipping beats every time it seemed like Adora was going to move. The the fingers against Catra’s back shifted to her waist and made very small back and forth movements, sending shivers down her spine, causing goosebumps to rise on her arms and legs. Adora took notice. “Are you cold?” She Squeezed Catra even tighter, causing Catra’s skin to further ignite.

“Uh, yeah. I’m cold.” She lied. 

“You feel pretty warm.” Catra swallowed. “I’d say even a bit warmer than usual.” Dammit. “Catra, you could have a fever.” 

Oh, bless! An excuse. “I don’t feel great, so that’s probably it.”

“Good thing there’s no class today. You can stay home and rest. Although...you’ll miss the match.” 

The thought of going anywhere was enough to make Catra want to curl up in a ball, and the thought of going to practice, even a short one, was daunting. But with Adora gone for a match, just maybe she could be alone just long enough to get rid of some of the sexual frustration she had apparently been accumulating... Her body responded to the idea. She felt a little bad though. She knew today was an important game, and she wanted to be supportive. Adora always got the biggest smile on her face when she looked to the stands and saw Catra there. 

Adora let go as she sat up to yawn and stretch. Catra’s body mourned the loss of warmth, but her eyes were thankful for the sight of Adora’s naked torso as her muscles stretched and flexed. Catra couldn’t help but gawk at the beautiful shape of her breast from the side -the fair, creamy skin topped with a pretty pink candy button. She subconsciously licked her lips again. On que, Adora looked down and realized she was naked. “Oh…” She pulled the blanket back up over her chest and blushed. Oh? What does ‘oh’ mean? Catra felt like she was going to pounce on her. Pounce on her and shake her for answers and kiss her till neither one of them could breathe, and bite her perfect skin just hard enough to leave small marks -her mark. 

“That’s right...we took...a shower last night.” The words came slowly. Too slowly. Catra couldn’t read her expression. How much did she remember? Did she just remember the shower? Or their conversation before that...even if she didn’t, even if she just remembered the shower, Catra couldn’t tell if her sentence was a ‘we took a shower last night’ as in, we-took-a-shower-because-I-was-a-big-drunk-baby-and-now-I'm-embarrassed, or we-took-a-shower-because-I-like-you-and-I-wanna-makeout-right-now. She really, really, really needed it to be the second one. 

Catra was quiet for a moment, trying to think of a way to test her without being obvious.“Yeah...you were pretty stupid sitting outside like that.” Then again, if Adora didn’t remember, maybe they could pretend like it never happened. Catra could take it all back; she could still turn this all around and find a way to kick Adora out of her heart and her mind. No you can’t, a voice in the back of her head told her. You’re too soft already. You like this meathead. 

“I know.” Catra’s heart skipped another beat. She did remember. Fuck. One half of her was elated and the other scared shitless -the feelings came clashing together in her stomach to make it do flips as she waited for whatever her roommate would say next. “It’s just…” Adora was looking down at the bed cover, slowly drawing made up shapes with one finger. “It’s just that last night, you were so, so…” she gave an exasperated sigh. “Nobody’s ever made me feel the things you make me feel…” Ba-dump. “The WAY you make me feel when we’re together...and last night, I was frustrated with how we left things from before, and I felt like I was getting mixed signals, and I was...overwhelmed with everything that was going on at the time…” Catra didn’t miss the wave of color flood Adora’s cheeks at the word ‘overwhelmed’, and she felt a smile of satisfaction spread across her face remembering how mesmerized Adora was during that lapdance. That sweet little sound she let out. 

Thinking about it made her feel hot all over again. She searched for the perfect snappy remark to remind Adora how easy it was to make her give in. “I didn’t mean to give you mixed signals.” It was happening again. The painfully honest words just tumbled out. “I saw a text from Glimmer. I thought you were switching roommates -trading me out for her -because of what I did to you in my sleep.” The heat of excitement immediately changed into a burning shame intricately laced with guilt. She rested her chin on her knees and curled her tail around her body. 

Adora was watching her intently, concerned -probably trying to piece things together. Catra wished she wouldn’t. She wished she hadn’t said anything. “Catra...I would never switch for another roommate. Living with you has been amazing. You mean the world to me.” Catra steeled herself against the tears threatening to flood her vision. The words brought so many different emotions -good emotions- yet there was a voice somewhere whispering, ‘she just pities you’. She was going to snap. Please don’t snap. 

“Besides, what happened in your sleep wasn’t your fault. I mean, for crying out loud, you were ASLEEP! You were defending yourself; you thought I was...you thought I was somebody else.” It only made things worse that Catra could hear Adora choking up. Don’t. Don’t do it. Don’t pity me. I don’t need it. I don’t need you. But as she thought it, Adora’s arms wrapped around her and her senses were overstimulated again. Her warmth, her smell, her skin, her hair. Adora…

“Catra.” Adora’s voice softly saying her name was the single most comforting thing Catra had ever experienced. She made the mistake of glancing at Adora’s hand and nearly recoiled. Three long scratches and one shorter one; two deep-looking and two shallow, but all sort of an angry red, almost as if they’d absorbed all the hatred Catra felt for her abusers. Now she heard Glimmer in her head. ‘...more than you probably already have…’ Catra hated herself for doing it. She hated herself for sitting here in this moment and taking advantage of Adora’s endlessly good nature. Adora was too good for her. 

She struggled in her head for a moment to think of something to say. Some way to be alone. “We’d better get up, or you’ll be late for your match.” Adora blinked at her. 

“What time is it?” Catra didn’t know, but she was sure it would be later than Adora wanted it to be. It was. The clock read 10:26AM. 

“Oh, shit!” Adora scrambled out of bed and to her closet. Catra felt relieved that the imminent threat of further baring her soul to this girl could be pushed back, even if only a few hours. She was also relieved that she hadn’t said anything to push her away again -she stayed in control. Maybe this was a sign that she could change. Maybe she could be better. When Catra looked up at Adora across the room, she was jumping into her shorts, her long undershirt only halfway on. 

“Make sure-” she breathed, shoving her other through the other armhole. “-you stay hydrated and…have you seen my jersey?” Catra pointed to her dresser, where Adora had carefully laid out her golden jersey two days before. “Ah! And make sure you eat lots of protein today. It’ll help you get better.” 

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll do that.” 

“I mean it, Catra.” She slung her bag over her shoulder, her voice softening. “I can’t imagine what it would have been like if I came here and lived with anyone else. I’ve loved every day.” The butterflies in Catra’s stomach went crazy when she said ‘loved’ and it was annoying as hell. She threw a pillow at Adora. 

“Go eat breakfast or you’re gonna be late!” 

She easily sidestepped the pillow and gave Catra a brilliant smile before shutting the door behind her, leaving Catra to sit and think about how good she looked in that fucking uniform. The way the gold accents seemed to make her hair shine in the light; how it fit her perfectly. Guh. This was torture. But now she was alone… she imagined Adora in the shower last night, water pouring over her skin, Adora’s hands grabbing and pulling at her. Catra laid back and let her own hand slide down her stomach to where the deep aching sensation was starting to build. Then lower…

At the same time Glimmer knocked on the door, she opened it. “CATRA! Get up, you’re going to be late for-” She stopped when she realized Catra was naked. “Ope...looks like last night’s shit show had a happy ending after all.” Catra hated the grin plastered on her face. Fuck you. 

“I’ll leave, but seriously, get up. We don’t want to be late today.” 

“Thanks for the lovely wake up call, Princess, but I’m pretty sure I do.” 

Glimmer narrowed her eyes. “You’re welcome. And, I’m pretty sure, you don’t. Hordak said if anyone was late today we would all have to do conditioning until we drop, remember? And I’m not running because you and Adora had a late night.” 

Catra didn’t remember Hordak saying that, probably because she always sort of mentally checked out during practices, but she also super didn’t care. The ache in her belly wasn’t subsiding the way it usually would if she just stopped thinking...exciting things. At the moment, all that excitement was just being redirected as irritation, and it was getting progressively more difficult to subdue. Even the way the pink-haired girl closed the door was obnoxious. 

Catra groaned and lumbered over to her dresser. As soon as she got one leg into her leotard, she regretted getting out of bed. She absolutely could not wear this thing today. She put on spandex and a sports bra instead, but they were just about as bad. Her skin was so sensitive, and they felt like they pulled at her, restricted her. She put on her biggest, baggiest T-shirt and went to Adora’s dresser to borrow her sweats. Before she had time to think about it, Catra brought the pants to her face and inhaled deeply. Adora. It felt like her head was now bursting with the scent of her skin. It seemed like she was only that way for an instant, but it must have been longer. Glimmer knocked again and cracked the door. “I swear to God, Catra. If you’re still in bed.” 

Catra quickly lowered the sweats from her face and put them on. She would just have to suffer through this whole damn day. “Don’t get your panties in a twist, Glitter. I’m right here.” She opened the door. Glimmer looked her up and down quizzically. 

“You’re going to practice like that? Adora said you weren’t feeling well when I passed her in the hallway, but damn.” Catra held back what might have been a hiss. What, like I wanna dress like this? Who cares? You can dress however the fuck you want, her brain quipped back. 

“I feel like shit.” That wasn’t a lie. Neither one of them said anything on the walk to the gym. Once safely inside and out of the cold, Catra shed her outer layers. Now at least she was dressed somewhat like an athlete rather than a bum. It made her feel a little bit better, but not much. Her muscles felt uncomfortably tight, and even though there were no whistles or music -it was actually pretty quiet compared to the usual chaos -everyone seemed to be chatting exceptionally loud today. And annoyingly. Catra felt somewhat claustrophobic. 

“Good Morning to you all.” Hordak finally came out of his office. A respectful hush came over the team. “I trust you had a restful evening.” Something about the way he said it, the way he was looking at them all, suggested he knew there had been a party last night. “You all performed very well at the last…” Catra’s mind drifted back to that small, dark closet with Adora…

“Two.” Hordak was right in front of Catra, holding his clipboard over her head. She just blinked at him. He waved it over Glimmer. “One.” Then Frosta. “Two.” He was counting them off, dividing them into two teams. Catra didn’t know what for, but she couldn’t tell by the looks on everyone’s faces whether it was a good thing or a bad thing. They all seemed somewhat serious. 

Glimmer crossed her arms over her chest. “You’re going down! I bet you can’t last three minutes.” She smirked. 

Catra didn’t even know what they were doing, but no way in hell was she about the back down. “In your dreams, Sparkles.” 

“Ooh, you really are a grump today.” I’ll show you grumpy. 

“Alright, team one will be on this beam. Team two on this one.” Hordak pointed at the lower practice beams. Everyone started moving towards their respective sides. She still didn’t know what was going on. She watched as everyone began to put their arms over the beam, as if to hang. Oh no. Then lifted their legs. Fuck me. They were holding L’s. Catra took the position and her body immediately began screaming at her to stop. She wrapped her tail around the beam. 

“Remember, if any part of your body touches the ground, you’re out. Five minutes starts now.”

The texture of the beam grating against her tail was awful. It felt like it had been an eternity already but Catra knew it could only have been fifteen seconds or so. Her legs and arms were already trembling and her muscles screamed at her. At least the ache in her stomach was being masked now -except it was being masked by the unwanted clenching of muscles, straining to hold on. Her core burned. Her eyes came into focus and she saw Glitter on the opposite side, smirking, looking determined. Catra clenched her jaw. I’m not losing to you, bitch. Catra took a deep breath in and let it out again slowly. She could do this. She would do this. 

Somebody on the end of her beam dropped off with an “oof” and a thud. “That’s one two-a-day for team two”. Shit. So that’s what they were competing for? She definitely couldn’t lose now. But her tail was slipping and she could feel the beam pulling at her fur. Somebody on Glimmer’s team fell off. “That’s another for team one.” Yes. 

The body next to hers hit the mat. Fuck. “Another for team two.” She locked eyes with Glimmer, who was still smiling but now seemed to be struggling, her face turning a bit red. One. One. Two. One. Two. Now they were the only two left. Drop, damn you, drop! But Glimmer hung on, shaking. Their respective teammates were cheering them on. 

“You can do it Glimmer!” 

“Hang on!”

“Don’t let go, Catra!” 

How long had it been now? Catra’s L no longer looked like an L. Her legs had fallen a bit and her hip flexors were burning now from compensating. This was torture. Hordak was no longer looking at his stopwatch. Was he even timing this? Her shake had become more pronounced. Catra’s arms felt numb from the pressure of the beam cutting off circulation. Glimmer was doing the same little back and forth dance to keep blood flow to her arms. 

“Stubborn...aren’t you.” It wasn’t a question. They were both breathing hard with effort, trying to outlast the other. 

“Probably more stubborn than you.” She growled. 

“Why don’t you let” sigh, “go Catra? You must be…hungry. I know you didn’t...get to eat this morning.” 

“Like...I said Princess. In. Your. Dreams.” 

They stayed that way for as long as they could. Even though both would swear up and down that the other started to release first, they both hit the ground at the same time. Everyone cheered -even Hordak clapped. “Well done girls. You broke the previous record -six minutes and twenty-eight seconds.” They just lay on the mat, breathing and trying to stretch their bodies out as much as they could after holding that position. The crampy feeling in Catra’s stomach was excruciating. 

“Because it was a tie, everyone will do two-a-day’s next week, but only three. You’re released for the rest of the day. Have a good weekend. I suggest you use the extra time to study.” 

People were congratulating her and Glimmer, but it was only serving to fray her nerves more. Did they have to be so loud? But she made it. She didn’t lose, and that’s what mattered. And practice was over? Now she almost wished she’d paid more attention to Hordak’s little talk before. Almost. Her mental energy was still spent being consumed by the mixed signals her body was giving her. 

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Adora’s heart started to race when she awoke with Catra still in her arms. She seemed to fit perfectly there, and she was so soft and warm. This morning she smelled good -like she always did, but...stronger? More? Adora couldn’t explain it. Catra was watching her face intently. Adora swore she was staring at her lips. Is she going to kiss me? “Good morning.” 

Catra’s eyes shifted up and she looked embarrassed. 

“Morning.”

Had they slept like this all night? Their faces were so close. “How did you sleep?” 

“Good...” Adora really liked Catra’s morning voice. It was always a little extra raspy. 

She couldn’t help but squeeze Catra a little bit. “Me too.” She leaned her head even closer so they could put their foreheads together. There was still that same kind of tension between them, the kind that seemed to fill up the room. For some reason, it didn’t make her as...uneasy? Was that the right word? As it usually did. Adora’s fingers moved on their own against Catra’s skin, admiring her slim waist. She felt Catra’s hair stand on end when goosebumps rose all over her. “Are you cold?” Another squease for good measure. She didn’t feel cold at all…

“Uh, yeah. I’m cold.” 

In fact, Catra was like a space heater. “You feel pretty warm. I’d say even a bit warmer than usual. Catra, you could have a fever.” 

She was giving a funny expression, acting kind of squirrely. Maybe she really didn’t feel good. “I don’t feel great, so that’s probably it.” Is she uncomfortable cuddling this close?

“Good thing there’s no class today. You can stay home and rest. Although...you’ll miss the match.” 

Adora let go as she sat up to yawn and stretch. As she did so, the blankets rolled down her body and the cold air alerted her to the fact that she was naked. “Oh…” She pulled the blanket back up over her chest and blushed. Then everything came flooding back. The party, the closet, the walk home...

“That’s right...we took...a shower last night.” Did Catra remember? Had she been drinking a lot? How drunk was I? I still remember, so that’s good...

“Yeah...you were pretty stupid sitting outside like that.” 

Adora felt a twinge of guilt. She probably worried them all, running off like that. Catra had to come looking for her. “I know. It’s just…” Adora looked down at the bed cover, slowly drawing made up shapes with one finger. “It’s just that last night, you were so, so…” Such a fucking tease? So sexy? Adora remembered the look in her eyes while she danced, how it made her body tingle. The closet...she couldn’t possibly say any of those thoughts out loud. She gave an exasperated sigh. “Nobody’s ever made me feel the things you make me feel…the WAY you make me feel when we’re together...and last night, I was frustrated with how we left things from before, and I felt like I was getting mixed signals, and I was...overwhelmed with everything that was going on at the time…” Adora felt her cheeks go pink. Catra had to know what she was doing to her, right?

“I didn’t mean to give you mixed signals.” There was something in Catra’s expression that made Adora sad. “I saw a text from Glimmer. I thought you were switching roommates -trading me out for her -because of what I did to you in my sleep.” 

Adora’s eyebrows furrowed. Text from Glimmer? She left her phone there....that’s why she was so upset when I got back? She thought I was switching roommates? Can people even do that without the other knowing about it? “Catra...I would never switch for another roommate. Living with you has been amazing. You mean the world to me. Besides, what happened in your sleep wasn’t your fault. I mean, for crying out loud, you were ASLEEP! You were defending yourself; you thought I was...you thought I was somebody else.” Catra had withdrawn. Adora’s throat got tight. 

“Catra.” She reached a hand out to touch her arm. She saw Catra’s eyes travel to the marks on her hand, now scabbed over. 

“We’d better get up, or you’ll be late for your match.” Adora blinked at her. That came out of nowhere. You can’t just change the subject that easily. But an alarm went off in her head -THE MATCH. She had no idea what time it was, but it was light enough outside for her to know it was late in the morning. 

“What time is it?”The clock read 10:26AM. The bus was supposed to be there by 11:00 and she still had to eat. Dammit. 

“Oh, shit!” Adora jumped out of bed and started stepping into clothing, without time to be embarrassed about her nakedness. Catra had seen it all now anyways...She wished she could stay here and take care of Catra; she knew Catra wouldn’t do it on her own. 

She got one arm through her undershirt. “Make sure you stay hydrated and…have you seen my jersey?” She followed Catra’s finger. “Ah! And make sure you eat lots of protein today. It’ll help you get better.” 

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll do that.” She could tell by the tone of Catra’s voice that was not the case, but she was sounding more like herself again, less closed off. 

“I mean it, Catra.” She slung her bag over her shoulder, her voice softening. “I can’t imagine what it would have been like if I came here and lived with anyone else. I’ve loved every day with you.” 

A funny expression crossed Catra’s face that she couldn’t read, but she didn’t have time to ask her what she was thinking. “Go eat breakfast or you’re gonna be late!” Catra threw a pillow at her, poorly. Adora easily sidestepped the pillow and smiled, knowing she would get to come home to Catra after her match today. 

As she ran down the hall, she nearly bumped into Glimmer, who gave her the once-up-and-down. “Adora, is Catra still in bed?” 

“In her defense, she's not feeling well this morning.” 

“Still, I’m surprised to see YOU running out the door this late.” Adora could tell by the smirk on her face that Glimmer knew she’d been up until early morning. 

“I needed the rest.” She said, starting to leave. “Had to sleep off the alcohol.” 

“Ha! I’m sure you both did.” Glimmer waved at her. “Bye! Good luck! Not that you need it!” 

In the dining hall, the rest of the team was waiting for her. Scorpia, caring as ever, had a bowl of fruit, a small dish of oatmeal, and an omelette. “You’d better eat quick. We’ve got like five minutes before we need to head for the bus.” 

“Thanks Scorpia. This was really sweet of you.” 

“Are you feeling okay this morning? You look a bit....frazzled.” 

Adora started shoveling oatmeal into her mouth. “Yeah, I’m good. I need to rehydrate though. We went out last night and I, uh, had a bit to drink.” 

Scorpia ran her fingers through her hair. “I’m sure you do. We heard it got preeeeetty wild.” She laughed awkwardly. We? Adora took a moment to look up at the rest of her teammates, who were all staring at her, smiling knowingly. She blushed. What exactly did they all hear? Were people talking about it? About her and Catra? It occurred to her that she never put her hair up again last night. It was still down and probably crazy from sleeping on it. 

In lieu of time, she decided food was more important right now. She wouldn’t get to eat again until they all got back. She finished the oatmeal and all but two bites of omelette before the bus was due to arrive. She took the fruit with her. Pretty much everyone got a bus seat to themselves, which was nice for trips like this. Adora could get in a good headspace before they did their team stuff upon arrival. She couldn’t have been the only one a tad hungover from last night -everyone was being kind of quiet. Were any of them at the same party? Did any of them see her and Catra together? Did they see Catra dancing on her? Adora’s stomach tightened remembering Catra’s grinding, the way her hips moved… 

Stop it! Get your head right. This may not be the most important match of the season, and sure we always beat this team, but you’ve still gotta give it your all! Still, in the back of her mind, she was happy that she’d get to go home and sleep with Catra again. Although, maybe she shouldn’t assume anything…

The rest of the bus ride went like this, thinking about Catra and attempting unsuccessfully to force other thoughts in instead. It just resulted in a very abrupt back and forth. Needless to say, her mind was not clear when the bus pulled up to Crimson Community College -dubbed by the students as “Crimson Waste”. Even though it was only an hour south, the climate was a lot dryer, even this time of year, and the people a lot...meaner. Rumor had it that beer was their ‘water’, bringing a second meaning to “waste” -the school was known for it’s legendary parties. 

It was a good thing Adora spent the whole bus ride drinking water, because the second she stepped off the bus, her lips felt chapped. The air was a dry, biting kind of cold -the kind you felt in your bones. She almost wished she had brought gloves. She warmed up quickly though, and after that, the only time she felt how cold it was, was if she stopped moving. That was something she really enjoyed about rugby. There were very few moments where you weren’t moving. Those moments were the calm before the storm -mere seconds of clarity before the whistles blew and your training took over. It was like her body reacted before her brain could comprehend the play; she was a finely-tuned cog in the greater machine of the team. 

Across the field, she could see the CCC team going through drills. In an instant, she recognized her friend-idol-nemesis, Huntara, towering over her other teammates. She was a few inches taller than Scorpia, and even bigger. She was a hulk of a woman, and Adora respected the shit out of her. She was a team captain, a good leader, and a damn good player. She earned her name for two reasons: 1) if you were going for a Try on breakaway, she would hunt you down. Huntara hardly ever failed to tackle. And 2) If SHE was ever going for a Try, good luck catching her. Huntara never fell prey to a 1V1 tackle. Always the hunter; never the prey. 

They’d talked after the last match. Adora wanted to congratulate her on playing so well, even though they’d lost. Adora had scored in the last minute -it was the third time Huntara had ever failed to get her target, and all three were during that game. Now as they walked onto the field, Adora waved, and Huntara nodded in acknowledgement. This was it. This was one of those surreal moments. She was covered in a layer of perspiration, which only made the air feel crisper. Her breath came out in puffs in front of her, disappearing quickly. She felt her pulse in her fingertips and she bounced from one foot to the other. She knew this play like the back of her hand, and she knew how to break through their defenses after last time. The whistle was about to blow. She had one thought on her mind: I’m going to win this and go home to Catra.


	9. Torture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra puts off the inevitable. Smut happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (If you don't like smut, don't read)

Needless to say, it had been an unpleasant car ride to the Crimson Waste. Glimmer drove herself, Bow, Catra, Frosta, and Perfuma the hour to that desertous place, which was frigid this time of year. The car was full, and even though Frosta -who was tiny -sat in the middle seat, it was still cramped. Catra had to sit uncomfortably pressed to the door with her body turned away so that she wasn’t touching anyone else, but that didn’t stop her from hearing them. 

They were all very excited that there was no real practice today, and they were hyped about seeing Adora’s match. Catra’s muscles were still feeling the consequences of their so-called ‘not-practice’. Sure felt like she worked her ass off. And shit, she wanted to see Adora too, but they wouldn’t catch her shrieking about it. And then there was the singing. They turned the sound up so that the bass rattled the car. Catra absolutely could not do this right now. She screamed at them to turn the volume down. At first, Glimmer seemed to think she was just being a bitch, but when she saw Catra’s ears plastered to her head, she complied. She thought maybe because Catra had feline ears, things could be louder to her. She wasn’t wrong. 

As painfully loud and obnoxious as their singing was, Catra couldn’t bring herself to ask them not to. She really wouldn't have minded it -as much -if her body wasn’t going psycho on her right now. She sure as hell couldn’t tell them about that either. Besides, they seemed to be having fun. Adora would’ve been having fun too if she was there with them. Adora could’ve made her feel better if she was with them. 

Thanks to Glimmer going nearly twenty over the speed limit the entirety of the drive, they weren’t as late as they thought they would be. As they made their way through the stadium, they found it was two minutes into half time. Bright Moon was down 2. Catra let Bow drape the end of his blanket over her legs as they sat down on the cold bleachers, secretly grateful for a small piece of comfort. Everything else sucked. The seat was too hard, it was frigid out, and everyone in the audience was too loud. Her body was still upset with her for so many reasons, but she sat there and grit her teeth -she didn’t come here to have fun. She came for her roommate.

It didn’t take long for her to find Adora on the sidelines. She was talking to her team, no doubt giving a motivational pep talk. Catra would never tell her this, but she was pretty good at that, making people feel good, like they could do anything. Glimmer and Bow shouted her name and waved like idiots. Adora turned to look at them and beamed before returning her attention to her team. Catra’s heart rate would take a while to recover. As the game started again, she seemed to get progressively warmer watching Adora. She wasn’t the biggest on the field by any means, but she was close to the fastest -she was powerful -and she was incredibly quick to cut and evade. One girl got in her way and she simply barrelled through, throwing the girl away from her with one hand. 

Catra felt a tingle shoot up her spine as she realized Adora could probably also throw her around with ease. She could probably hold her down like it was nothing. As she watched, it got harder and harder to concentrate. Heat pooled between her legs as the field moved further away. Catra could practically feel Adora’s weight on top of her as she was straddled by those thighs. She could hear the way she whispered her name over and over again, pleading. 

“Catra? Catra!” 

Her eyes snapped open and she was back in the stadium, sandwiched between Bow and Glimmer, both staring at her with concern. It was Glimmer who called her name. Even in Catra’s daydreams this bitch was a cockblock. “Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine.” 

“Great. Well then would you let go of my arm?” They both glanced down. Catra realized with horror that her tail had wrapped itself around Glimmer’s arm in search of contact. She forced it straight and grabbed it, now holding it in her lap. She chastised herself for being so out of control. You came here to watch the game, so watch the goddamn game! This was the phrase she practically chanted for the rest of the half. Her eyes were drawn to Adora -she couldn’t help it. Her body wouldn’t let her. When Adora scored the winning point, the small group of people in the crowd who was there for Bright Moon cheered for She-Ra. In her mind, Catra chimed in. Ador-a, Ador-a, Ador-a. 

When the game ended, they watched both teams do their fake-ass ‘congratulations’ to each other before taking to the field. Adora ran up to them and enclosed them all together in a big hug. Catra didn’t even care that she was being smooshed or that she didn’t get her own hug -okay, maybe she cared a little -but she was too overcome with Adora’s scent to want the hug to end. Everyone was saying what a good job she did, how proud they were, how awesome it was -she was just breathing, trying to make it last, trying to somehow store it in her memory so she’d never forget. When Adora let them go, she took a step back. Catra drank in the view of her up close in all her shining glory, hair messy and slicked back with sweat, jersey streaked with mud, body still shaking with adrenaline, eyes so blue it hurt. 

“I can’t believe you guys all came out here!” But she was looking at Catra, who was still just staring. “Are you feeling better, Catra?” Adora’s hand reached out towards her face. “Do you still have a fever? You looked flushed.” 

Catra instinctively pulled away. She knew the second Adora’s hands touched her skin, she would melt into a whining puddle in front of everyone. “I’m fine!” Adora seemed to recoil a bit.

“Okay, well...make sure you keep drinking water. I’ll see you back at home.” She waved to them all and returned to her team’s celebration. 

The car ride home was somehow worse than the ride there. They were still loud and obnoxious, that hadn’t changed, but Catra’s body seemed to be spiraling further and further out of control. The ache had returned low in her abdomen, reminding her that she still hadn’t...taken care of business. Every moment spent not doing that seemed to bring retaliation from her body. Being close to Adora like that definitely set her off again.   
She was grateful that Adora’s team always went out to eat dinner after away games, so she could eat hers in peace. Well...in as much peace as she was going to have with her hormones on a rampage and being surrounded by idiots.They all did their very best to not stare at her quizzically too long or ask her if she was feeling better, as it only earned snappy responses. Catra appreciated that they could at least take a hint when a girl wanted to be left alone, unlike Adora. Catra tried to think of what she could say to her, how she could explain it without actually explaining it. 

Her brainstorming was cut short when Adora got back, instantly making the room smell like her. It was intoxicating. 

“Hey Catra. How are you feeling?” She dropped her duffle bag onto the floor beside her bed.

“Like shit. How was dinner?” She really, really didn’t want to talk to Adora right now. It was hard enough just being in the same room without attacking her. 

“It was great!” Adora didn’t seem to notice her struggling, so that was good. “If you really feel that bad, you should probably just make an appointment with the health center.” Adora started to peel off her clothes. Fuck. Don’t stare. But her eyes remained wide open, glued to Adora’s skin wherever she revealed it. Catra’s gaze wandered from her back down to her legs as the shorts were pulled down. She’s so fucking hot. Back up to the muscles of her shoulders starting to work as she went to pull her sports bra off. Catra licked her lips with anticipation at the thought of seeing Adora’s perfect breasts again. She glanced up to Adora’s face just in time to make eye contact and regret it. 

“Uh…”. Adora blushed and turned her back to Catra as she continued stripping. The spandex...but despite Catra’s mental begging, Adora didn’t remove them. She wrapped herself in her towel and took her hair down, which was enough all by itself to make Catra’s insides clench. “I’ll be back in a few.” And then she was gone. As soon as the door closed, Catra simultaneously felt as if she finally breathe and like she couldn’t breathe enough. She closed her eyes and pictured Adora stripping over and over again on loop. Each time, she saw them getting closer together. Her body seemed to be getting more and more agitated.

Catra imagined what it would be like if Adora pushed her, put a hand on her chest and backed her up against a wall. She felt her insides clench again at the thought. She wanted nothing more than to be as close to Adora as she could get, to breath her in and feel every inch of her smooth skin. The more she thought about Adora’s scent, the more she craved it. Catra glanced nervously at the clothes bin across the room, her friend’s jersey sitting right on top. She fought herself for only a matter of seconds before walking over and picking it up. She buried her face in it and just breathed. Adora… 

God, she was such a freak. This was so weird. What’s wrong with you? If Adora saw her...she would be back from the shower soon. Catra quickly shoved the jersey under her pillow, just in time. The door opened -Catra jumped up and away from the bed -and Adora walked in, clueless as ever. Thank God. The room was filled with the scent of lilacs and the ‘ocean breeze’ body wash she used. It hit Catra like a freight train; she almost let out a whimper as she held herself still in place, doing everything in her power to not tackle her unsuspecting roommate. 

“So what do you wanna do tonight?” Adora cocked her head to the side like a puppy, her soft skin still wet, nakedness masked only by a thin towel. How could somebody be so innocent and so goddamn sexy all at once? A million answers flooded Catra’s mind -sounds, images, memories. I want to kiss you until I can’t feel my lips. I want to feel you on top of me. I want to fuck. 

“I’m gonna go to sleep.” Her voice was a bit more sultry than she’d meant it. “You know, so I get better quick.” Adora nodded. 

“Good idea.” Catra turned to go up the ladder. “Wait!” 

Adora looked sad. “I’m kind of tired. I’ll go to sleep too.” It came out as a question. Catra knew she was asking to sleep in the same bed. Her heart was pounding away inside her chest and her body was screaming at her to say yes. She balled her hands into fists and dug her nails into her palms. How could she do this without hurting Adora’s feelings? 

“I don’t want you to get sick.” 

Adora brushed hair behind her ear. “I mean...we’ve definitely shared germs lately...so if I’m going to get sick, it’s probably just going to happen.” Catra had to pry her eyes away from Adora’s beautiful flushed face so she wouldn’t start crying. For the third time today, Catra thought, this is torture. 

“I think I should sleep by myself tonight, Adora.” She tried to speak as evenly as she could. Adora somehow still looked hurt. 

“Okay. Well, I hope you feel better.” Catra climbed the ladder, one miserable step after the other. 

Once at the top, she collapsed against her pillow and was again overtaken by the smell from the jersey tucked away underneath. She let her consciousness drift from fantasy to fantasy, revelling in how real it all sounded and smelled. Finally, the ache in her belly became a throbbing need and she couldn’t wait anymore. The lights were off. How long had it been? Was Adora sleeping? Only one way to find out…

“Adora?” She whispered, barely audible. “Adora.” Just a bit louder this time. Still no response. Catra felt a wave of excitement crash over her. She could finally, FINALLY, get off and be done with this needy bullshit. She slowly stripped off everything but her thong and pulled the jersey out from under the pillow and brought it to her nose. She imagined their reunion after the game going very differently. 

Adora took her in her arms for a big hug, and then grabbed her hand. When their eyes met, Catra saw something there -something exciting. “C’mon.” Catra followed. 

“Adora, where are we going?” She looked up to a grungy looking building in front of them. “A bathroom?” Adora opened the door, pulled her in, and locked the door behind them. “Gee, romantic.” She scoffed. 

Adora shoved Catra back against the door and kept her pressed against the cold metal with her own body. “Stop talking.” She breathed the words as her lips covered Catra’s. The sparks between them started a fire neither of them could control. Catra’s body was buzzing with electricity -a new shock was delivered every time Adora grabbed somewhere new or pressed harder into her. Adora’s hands were clumsily pulling at her clothes, effectively removing them, pulling her hair and making her gasp. She shoved a hand down Catra’s pants and pressed against her. 

Adora’s mouth was right by her ear. “Catra, you’re so wet.” She felt her cheeks burn in response. 

“Whose fault is that?” 

“Mine.” Adora’s hands both moved to the backs of Catra’s thighs and pulled them up to wrap around her waist before slamming her back against the door. “All mine.” She practically growled before taking a nipple into her mouth and circling it with her tongue. Catra moaned and started to flick her clit faster as the scene played out. Then it was Adora’s hand on her again -she flipped her around, made Catra put her hands on the door and stick her ass out. Adora pulled on her tail and reached an arm around to press her palm up against Catra’s wetness. Catra ground her hips back on Adora. The tips of Adora’s fingers rested lightly over her opening, begging for more pressure -that’s all it would take. 

“Tell me what you want, Catra.” 

“Adora.” It was a plea for more. She had to have more. Catra bit the jersey, delighted that she could actually kind of taste Adora’s skin on the fabric. The fingers flicking her clit were getting tired -her goddamn claws got in the way. The white-hot coiled heat inside her was painful now, begging to be released. She just needed Adora to put her fingers inside…”Adora, please…” 

She pushed her hips back hard against Adora’s hand so that one finger pressed the opening. Another finger followed and they both slid into her. Catra bit back a cry. She knew it felt good, and it looked so good, but...she couldn’t really feel it. Just the pressure on her clit from her own tired hands. “More.” 

She watched Adora’s determined face as she adjusted her hand and pushed her fingers further inside. Catra tightened again as Adora’s fingers started to move, the other hand reaching up and around her body to pinch a nipple, making Catra whimper. This, this is what she needed. Something inside her started to build -she was going to finally get off. She moved her hand faster and faster, in time with Adora’s, until she felt like she was staring over the edge of a cliff, ready to jump. 

“Catra.” She heard Adora say her name and that was enough, the little push that would send her over. But when the barely noticeable spasms started, Catra was beyond disappointed. Tears pricked behind her closed eyelids. Was that really an orgasm? All that fucking buildup, for what? Her body felt worse than when she started, still desperately tight, more wound up and even less satisfied, dying to feel Adora for real. She let out a whine. THIS was torture.

“C-catra.” Catra’s eyes opened at the sound of Adora’s voice from behind. She’d been so caught up in their imagined fire that she hadn’t heard Adora get out of bed, turn on the reading light, and climb up the ladder.


	10. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra FINALLY gets some relief. If you don't like smut, skip to after the double line.

The whole way home from the game, she couldn’t stop thinking about Catra. She went back and forth between concern that she didn’t seem to be feeling any better -if anything she was getting worse -and elation that she’d actually gone to the game to see her play. Her body was tired though and she knew she had a few gnarly bruises coming on. It was going to feel so good climbing into bed with her tonight. 

Her heart skipped as she opened the door. There she was, standing there looking like she was just waiting for Adora to get home. “Hey Catra. How are you feeling?” She dropped her duffle bag onto the floor beside her bed.

Something seemed off though. Catra didn’t smile back at her. “Like shit. How was dinner?” She must be feeling worse...Adora wanted to comfort her, to cheer her up. She just needed to be distracted. But first, I need to take a shower. I reek. 

“It was great! If you really feel that bad, you should probably just make an appointment with the health center.” Adora started to peel off her clothes. She was immediately aware of Catra’s eyes on her. Even though they’d already seen each other naked, it still made her nervous. She couldn’t help but feel a bit self-conscious. Their eyes met and Adora knew Catra was definitely checking her out -she was practically drooling. 

“Uh…”. Adora blushed and turned her back to Catra as she continued stripping. Has she always stared at me like that? She wrapped herself in her towel and took her hair down with some difficulty. “I’ll be back in a few.” 

It felt good to stand under the warm water. Today’s game had been such a cold one. Her muscles were fatigued from effort and shivering and the heat helped to relax them -but not as much as sleeping with Catra did. That was a different kind of heat; it was like...other worldly good. Adora smiled at her own childishness; Catra seemed to bring it out in her. But other worldly good was all she could think to describe that feeling when they touched. They fit together so perfectly when they intertwined their limbs in a tangle of cuddles, so warm and soft. Having Catra in her arms was unlike any other feeling. She finished washing her hair and hurriedly dried herself before walking back to the room. Catra was waiting for her again, staring wide-eyed.

“So what do you wanna do tonight?” Adora thought about shooting some ideas out. Ball toss? Cuddle? Netflix binge? Kiss...But the way Catra’s face fell kept her quiet. She was thinking about something in a very serious way. Yet her eyes glinted in the mischievous manner they sometimes did when she was thinking of something dirty. 

“I’m gonna go to sleep.” Her voice was low and raspy. Adora’s heart skipped a beat. She was definitely thinking something dirty. “You know, so I get better quick.” But her body language was so closed off. Why all the mixed signals?

“Good idea.” Catra turned to go up the ladder. Without thinking, Adora reached a hand out to grab her arm. “Wait!” I want to be with you tonight. But she didn’t say it. 

“I’m kind of tired. I’ll go to sleep too.” It came out as a question. Can’t we sleep together? 

Why was Catra still looking at her like that? “I don’t want you to get sick.” She replied, flatly.

Adora brushed hair behind her ear. “I mean…” she thought back to all the passionate kisses they’d shared in the last few days, all the touching. “...we’ve definitely shared germs lately...so if I’m going to get sick, it’s probably just going to happen.” Catra kind of pulled back, turning her face away. Why is she pulling away from me? Why is she keeping me out?

“I think I should sleep by myself tonight, Adora.” Maybe Catra doesn’t like the attention when she’s sick. Maybe she feels like a burden. But she’s not a burden! Or is this because we’ve been spending so much time together? Is she feeling overwhelmed? What if she needs space? What if she realized that she doesn’t really like me afterall...

Adora tried to force a smile. “Okay. Well, I hope you feel better.” Catra climbed the ladder so slowly it seemed as if she were in pain. Maybe she would be better in the morning. Adora waited for her rustling to stop before she set to getting herself ready for bed. She brushed her teeth and combed her hair, all the while wondering if maybe she’d been mistaken about their intense connection. She turned out the light and climbed into bed, but couldn’t fall asleep. They’d have to talk about it in the morning -whatever it was. If she was just sick, if she was feeling doubts about her feelings, Catra had to let her in. 

She stared at the bottom of Catra’s bunk for what felt like forever before falling into a light sleep. One of those full of random dreams that didn’t all make sense together. In the last one, she was walking down by the waterfront, admiring the breeze when, without warning, Catra jumped out from behind a tree and threw a stick at her, saying “Catch!”. But she didn’t catch it. It smacked her upside the head and knocked her down -the fall somehow felt like it was 10 feet. She woke with a jump, whole body jerking, slightly irked. Even dream Catra could get under her skin in the most obnoxious way. 

There was movement above her and Adora’s ears picked up the sound of Catra’s rapid breathing. Uh-oh. She was going to have another night terror. Adora listened only for a few more seconds before lazily getting out of bed to turn on the small light right next to it. “Adora. Adora, please…” Adora paused for a moment. Catra sounded...different, and she’d never said Adora’s name during one of her night terrors, and never like that. There was another small whimper. At any rate, I’d better go wake her up. “Catra.” She started up the ladder, still groggy. I’m coming to get you Catra, don’t worry. Each rung higher brought Catra more into view. It also brought more confusion and intrigue and embarrassment. Catra was on her knees, face down in the bed -no, face down in Adora’s game jersey from that day -naked except for a little black thong. She was...touching herself. Adora almost let go of the ladder.

Her mouth felt incredibly dry. She tried to swallow but her throat didn’t seem to want to work. “C-catra.” She said my name. She...she was thinking about me while she...Adora’s insides squirmed as Catra’s eyes opened and locked on hers -heavy lidded and teary. Catra was begging her for something as she sat there practically panting, tail lashing back and forth. Her mouth dropped Adora’s jersey and one tear rolled down her cheek. 

“Adora.” Much louder now, Adora’s ears took the full brunt of Catra’s rasp. It launched an assault on her insides. “Please...it hurts.” Hurts? Catra sounds so desperate, something really was bothering her.

“W-what hurts?” Adora started to move cautiously forward, mouth still dry. If there was something she could do to help…

As she got closer, Catra’s tail wrapped itself around her arm and yanked her forward without warning. WIth a gasp from Catra and a surprised noise of her own, she toppled over Catra from behind. For a split second before moving, Adora enjoyed breathing into her wild hair. She smelled so good right now. As she got herself back upright on her knees, Catra started grinding back on her. Shit. This was like that lapdance, but way, way more intense. So, so much better. She drank in the sight: Catra’s arms sprawled out in front of her, claws not fully retracted. 

Adora felt overwhelmed by the pressure building in her stomach. How could Catra look this good? How could she feel this good? And how did her hips move like that? Adora let her own body push back in response, earning another little whine from Catra. Adora watched, entranced as Catra’s hands twisted themselves in the sheets and she arched her back. Is this what she needs? How did she get so...frustrated? One of Adora’s hands was itching to touch her smooth skin -it was so perfect, so warm. Her eyes trailed up the line along her spine, to her shoulders. Without thinking, two fingers tentatively reached out and made their way down Catra’s back, which arched further under the attention. She reached out again and let her whole hand make its way from Catra’s shoulder blade, down the side of her ribs to her slim waist, finally to rest on her hip. 

“Harder.” 

Adora hesitated. Did she mean my hands or my hips? She realized that she had no idea what she was doing and felt silly. Catra made a small circle with her hips against Adora, as if to answer the question. Adora’s fingers dug into Catra’s soft flesh as she pulled back and pushed forward again. Was that too hard? Catra mewled in response. No, that was good. Adora would have felt awkward if she wasn’t so goddamn turned on by all of this. They were so slow to find a rhythm together, but damn was the rhythm right. Adora watched as Catra’s hands snaked underneath her again. She looks so good touching herself like that…

“Harder, Adora.” She seemed to be growing more desperate, yet more confident all at once. Her body was shaking and her responses were involuntary, but the look in her eyes could melt metal -God, she was so fucking sexy. Catra’s tail guided Adora’s other hand to her so she could hold on tighter. It didn’t matter how long they’d been doing this, Adora could watch her ass bounce like that all day. Whatever fever Catra had, Adora was catching it. Soon they were both breathing ragged. Catra’s legs were starting to quiver a bit more as the hand she used to touch herself moved faster. “Adora…” Her voice was getting louder. “I’m close.” Close? Whatever this was, Adora needed it to happen. 

Adora felt like she was slamming her hips into Catras. She was breathing hard and even sweating a little, and she probably looked stupid but she didn’t care. The only thought in her head was that she needed to hear Catra’s voice like this. “Adora, I -hngg!” Catra muffled whatever glorious noise would have been with Adora’s jersey as her body went stiff and her hips bucked before going limp on the bed, panting. Adora collapsed on top of her and they were still for a moment, pressed tightly together. 

Catra’s hands loosened their hold on the bed sheet, but she made no other moves. Adora just breathed in her hair, mind racing. Why did Catra stop? Did she feel better now? Did that mean they couldn’t do it again? She needed them to do it again -to keep touching Catra. Adora still felt incredible tension in the air, and a growing need to explore every inch of her best friend below her. 

“Catra.” Her voice sounded small. Adora propped herself up on her hands, trying to get a look at Catra’s expression. But the other girl was keeping her head down between her arms, refusing to answer. “Catra, talk to me.” Her body knew damn well she didn’t want to talk. The hand still gripping Catra’s hip squeezed gently. Catra shook her head slightly. 

In a fluid motion, Adora rolled Her friend over and straddled her hips. She hadn’t meant to be so forceful -she just wanted to see Catra’s face. She only caught a glimpse of those beautiful mismatched eyes before Catra’s arms flew up to cover herself from view. 

“I don’t want you to see me like this.” Catra’s voice cracked. Like this? ‘This’ was incredible. Adora grabbed her wrists and pinned them down above her head. “I’m pathetic.” She didn’t try to pull her arms away, but she kept her face turned the other direction. 

“No, Catra. No, I think you’re the most...I mean I’ve never even…” Adora’s eyes wandered from Catra’s collarbones to her perfectly hard nipples, and then back up to the nape of her neck. Adora couldn’t find the words -there weren’t any in the world good enough to convey what she felt right now for Catra. “Oh, Catra..” she whispered as her lips made contact with the hot skin covering Catra’s quickening pulse. She smelled like warmth, if that was even a thing. Her hips jerked upwards at the contact, which only pressed them closer together. Adora softly kissed her way up Catra’s neck and along her jaw, enjoying how squirmy it seemed to make her. Maybe Catra doesn’t want to stop either...

She really was the most beautiful thing. Her lips were full and pouty and begging to be kissed; her dark, silky hair messy and framing her head on the pillow; eyebrows knit together with effort. Effort to what? Was she holding back too? Does she want this as badly as I do right now? One hand relinquished its hold on Catra’s wrist to rest on her cheek, her thumb brushing against Catra’s bottom lip, feather light. Catra’s lips parted and Adora’s heart skipped. She felt like she was holding her breath. Does she... want it in her mouth? Again and again, Adora slowly ran her thumb over Catra’s jaw, up her chin and just under her lip. Each time, Catra’s mouth seemed to part a little more, until Adora could watch her tongue behind her teeth, following the finger. Her hips continued to press up into Adora with every circle. It sure as hell seemed like Catra was as turned on as she was.

“Catra, look at me-hmn.” The soft statement was punctuated by the sound escaping Adora’s throat as Catra finally turned and took her thumb into her mouth. It was a mesmerizing wet heat, and When Catra’s tongue flicked and rolled around her finger, Adora felt it in her toes. When she finally opened her eyes, just barely, Adora was stunned -held drooling in place by need she saw burning there. And she didn’t miss the hint of a smirk playing at the corner of Catra’s pretty mouth. “...you little tease.” Two could play at this game. 

Adora removed her thumb and replaced it with her lips, which Catra nibbled and sucked gladly instead. Adora shifted down so that her body could be between Catra’s legs, which immediately wrapped around her, and they could once again be fully pressed together. It seemed harder to hold Catra’s hands the further down she got, but Adora didn’t want to lose sight of that gorgeous face. She continued to kiss all around the shape of Catra’s breast, avoiding the hardened peak. She did it over and over for what felt like minutes. Catra was getting so riled up -her legs wouldn’t hold still, her chest heaved with every breath, and she was letting out the sweetest little noises. As Adora let her free hand trace Catra’s other breast, she lazily brushed a finger over a nipple, causing Catra to stiffen and a full-fledged moan escaped, which she tried to stifle again with the back of her hand. 

Adora re-trapped it above her head. Catra seemed to be losing control, her movements were more sporadic. “Adora, please. Please.” Adora’s body was thrumming with excitement at the sound of her voice. Desperate and sexually frustrated was an amazing look on Catra. 

“If you move your hands, Catra, I’ll stop.” She whined underneath in response. 

“I-I can’t.” Adora’s hand returned to Her roommate’s chest, making her unravel again. “Ah-Adora, I n-“ 

She was cut short as two fingers pinched a hard nipple lightly. “Yes you can.” She flicked her fingers back and forth quickly a few times, making Catra arch off the bed and attempt to cover her face again. Adora immediately stopped. Catra waited, frustrated and expectantly before realizing with a groan why the pleasure stopped. “I told you, if you try to cover your face, I’ll stop.” She cupped Catra’s cheek. “You’re so beautiful like this Catra. I want to see you. I want to hear you.” Looking down at Adora, her eyes were pleading and unsure. 

With another groan, she put her arms back over her head. Adora immediately took the nipple into her mouth and began laving with her tongue, sending Catra spiraling out of control. She practically squealed at the contact and the way her hips were moving as she tried desperately to grind against Adora for stimulation was maddening. Adora enjoyed the way the nipple felt in her mouth -a perfect little gumdrop. She let her teeth scrape against it, earning another wild cry from Catra, who had tears in her eyes again. 

“Pl-lease, it hurts. Adora. I need more.” Two tears rolled down her cheeks. 

Adora was going to do whatever it took to make it better. “Tell me what you need, Catra.” I’ll fix it. 

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Her cheeks burned with embarrassment -she hated how pathetic she sounded. Her body betrayed her, made her say it. “I need you to touch me.” Adora sort of laughed, which only made Catra feel more vulnerable and frustrated. Adora’s hands trailed all around her torso, but not where she wanted -where she needed. 

“I am touching you, Catra.” Fuck you. Please. Don’t make me say it. Another tear fell and she wanted more than anything to wipe it away and cover her face. But if she did...Adora would stop. She’d never felt so exposed to anyone before, and she both revelled in the freedom of giving herself up and hated that Adora could make her do anything. But she couldn’t wait anymore. 

“Touch my pussy. Please.” Adora paused at the word, cheeks reddening. What the fuck else would I need?! She’s so dumb. I love her. I need her. There was shyness there as Adora’s eyes drifted lower on her body, and suddenly Catra felt exposed all over again. This was actually all happening. Adora’s hands were sliding lower to hook under her thong -to touch her where she’s been craving contact. She was thankful that her brain was finally starting to shut off again so she wouldn’t have to think about how nervous she was that her best friend was about to really see her naked. They both inhaled as the thong came off.

“Y-you’re so wet.” Her insides did somersaults. Just fucking touch me! Her hips continued to raise off the bed, even though Adora was no longer pressing against her. After that, it seemed everything happened quickly. Adora’s fingers tentatively touched her lips but Catra’s movements caused them to slide through the soft folds with ease. They both sighed. Catra loved the concentrated expression on Adora’s face -she was trying so hard even though she didn’t have to. Just knowing that it was Adora’s hands on her was enthralling enough...but... 

“I need them inside…” She felt like she was going to actually sob if Adora didn’t just fucking-

Adora pressed a bit harder but she was in the wrong spot. Catra tilted her hips and felt true euphoria when two of Adora’s fingers pushed inside of her. She didn’t even care that she was making noise -she didn’t even hear Adora say “Your insides are so hot”. She felt her claws tear into the pillow under her head as Adora wiggled her fingers inside, sending shock waves through her entire body. Adora’s fingers felt thicker than she’d expected -she felt…full, in the best way. Adora started moving in and out, gently at first, but then faster. This time, the orgasm caught her by surprise -it rendered her practically incoherent as she tried to draw Adora in again and writhed and yelled curses. This was what she needed. As the waves subsided she was thankful that Adora didn’t stop, but instead seemed more determined than before. She moved her hands quickly, even though Catra was still coming down. When her fingertips brushed the sweet spot inside, Catra threw her head back again at the deep pulling sensation. 

“Fuck. That. I need that, Adora -please.” She could feel Adora trying different things. No, not that. No. She did it again. Yes. “Yes. Right there, Adora.” THIS was what she needed. Adora continued curling her fingers inside and pressing up on something. It was intense, but so good. Her legs started to shake uncontrollably as she strained against the bed, Adora’s free hand pressing down on her abdomen in an attempt to steady her thrusting hips. Fuck. Fuck. She could hear herself; she knew she was getting louder. I’m so close. 

“You’re so tight Catra.” Adora’s face was focused as she pushed a little harder and drove Catra over the edge. The ripples started deep, making her lose sight of everything but this magic release. Adora still didn’t stop, but moved slower and gentler as Catra came down from her high. “I-I can feel your insides throbbing…it’s amazing.” 

Catra laughed. She laughed because Adora was so easily entertained. She laughed because, somehow, even though she was so naive, Adora was able to give her the most amazing orgasm. She laughed because she was actually finally releived of that horrible fucking ache, and now all that was left was the physical feeling of relaxation, and determination. She was going to make Adora scream. She let go of the pillows slowly, definitely torn, as Adora slipped her fingers out of her. Catra sat up lazily, watching Adora observe her fingers, now slick with Catra’s wetness. Catra grabbed her wrists and brought the fingers into her mouth, delighted to watch Adora’s jaw drop and eyes close as she sucked the juices from her fingers. 

“You sure made a mess of me.” She grabbed the collar of Adora’s t-shirt and pulled her in for a hard kiss. “My turn.” She growled as she pushed Adora against the wall and straddled her hips, grinding into her slowly -the way that made her whimper. And she did. God, after all the waiting she made me do, teasing her is gonna feel so good. But Adora was pulling her tail again and grabbing her ass, quickly making her feel like she was going to melt. No. My turn, bitch. She raked her nails as gently as she could manage up Adora’s spine as she pulled her shirt over her head. She was pleasantly surprised to see Adora hadn’t worn a bra to bed, and her nipples were already perfect, hard little buttons, begging for her attention. Not yet. She would have to wait. 

Catra’s tongue left Adora’s mouth to trail down the side of her angular jaw and up to her earlobe. Her gasps were the best combination of deep and breathy -there was no better sound in the world. Ope. Yes there was. One hand lightly ran over a perky breast and flicked the peak, drawing a moan that could melt bones. Fuck, her skin’s like cream. Catra pulled her hair hard enough to expose her neck so she could leave her mark. She left several on her way down. “Catra…”   
She purred in response to her name. I wanna hear her beg.

“Yes, princess?” 

Adora squeezed her arms around Catra’s waist in an attempt to pull her closer again, but Catra kept pushing away. She wanted to be able to see Adora unravel. She pushed Adora down onto the bed and was thankful that she complied as she continued kissing and licking her way around Adora’s chest. Her breasts were round and soft and filled Catra’s hands with warmth. 

“Your tits are so nice.” Catra enjoyed her friend’s shyness -the blush of her cheeks matching her lips and making her eyes ever more blue. Those sparkling eyes could make her do anything. She just wanted to make Adora feel good…

Catra finally bent down to put her mouth on Adora’s breast, flicking her tongue back and forth over the sensitive nub, making Adora gasp and squirm under her. Adora’s hands were groping and stroking Catra’s back, egging her on. Catra replaced her mouth with her hand and moved to the other side. She didn’t know Adora could sound like this. 

“Do you like how this feels?” 

“Y-yes. Your tongue feels good. When you-ah!-do that I feel it in my…” 

Catra took her mouth off Adora’s breast with a pop but continued to play with her hands, enjoying the embarrassment on Adora’s face. “Where do you feel it, Adora?” She lowered her eyes, her long eyelashes fluttering. She’s so fucking beautiful. Catra needed to see every shy glance, every smile, every shudder. 

“My… “ her hand left Catra’s back to slide down her own flat belly to rest just above the top of her boyshorts. Catra’s eyes followed hungrily. “...here.” And then continued lower. 

“Can I touch you there?” Her heart skipped a beat waiting for Adora to nod. She practically jumped back down on her when she finally did. As her hands slid down the ridges of Adora’s abs to the waistband, she noted her claws were still poking out occasionally. That would be a problem...when she started to pull down the last piece of clothing between them, Adora brought her hand over her face. 

Catra grabbed it and put it above her head. “Ah, ah,ah. Move it, and I’ll stop.” The betrayed look on Adora’s face was priceless, but she stayed still. 

“S’not fair.”

Catra laughed, “Of course it’s fair! You got to see me, now ...it’s my turn.” 

Adora made a noise of frustration underneath her but lifted her hips to help lose her panties. Once they were off, Adora immediately laid her legs back down stiff as a board, thighs pressed together. Catra continued to kiss and lick her way down Adora’s body, stopping briefly to look at her favorite freckle right next to Adora’s bellybutton. The realization that she could smell how wet Adora was hit her like a truck, and had her drooling. Her fingers made slow, gentle circles from the top of one hip to the other, and down just enough to make Adora inhale sharply with anticipation. She licked her lips watching the taut muscles of her stomach twitch as her fingers occasionally brushed lower, threatening to touch where she was craving attention. And then she did the same thing with her tongue, making Adora’s legs part just enough to be able to run her hands up and down the inside of her thighs. Just a little...bit...more. 

Catra’s tongue brushed over the apex of her thigh, tasting Adora’s wetness, making her twitch and open further. She couldn’t help but stare. Adora was perfect. She was soft and pink, and so wet...her hands covered her face again. “Catra! Don’t stare at it…” 

She got up and tried to pull Adora’s hands away. Without warning, Adora somehow flipped over on top of Catra again, pinning her arms down again. Whoa. She was really strong. “Adora, why are you so embarrassed? You’re hot as fuck like this.” If her face could be any more red, she would probably have blushed. Catra caught her gaze and held it. “Let me touch you, Adora. I just want to make you feel good.” I want to make you melt. Make you let go. Make you mine. 

The pressure on Catra’s hands let up and she took her opportunity to slide down underneath Adora so that she was straddling her chest. She was glad to see that it caught Adora by surprise. Catra wrapped her arms around Adora’s thighs and raised her head to lick just next to where Adora needed it. She moaned. “Catra…” 

“Move up.” Adora looked down at her, still unsure. “Trust me.” Adora moves the last couple inches, now hiding herself up so she wouldn’t crush Catra. Just sit already! Catra used her hold on Adora’s hips to pull her down onto her tongue. Fuck yes. She tasted good, and she sounded good. I’m gonna make you mine. Her tongue made big sweeping motions back and forth a few times before catching onto the fact that Adora seemed to respond the most when her tongue was at the top. Of course! Duh. 

She zeroed in on Adora’s clit, making Adora cry out. That’s it. She flicked up and down as fast as she could, squeezing Adora’s thighs to keep her close. They started to shake and Adora put her hands on the top of the ladder to stead herself. “Catra...I-nh-“ Catra was enjoying the concentrated expression on her face, the way her eyebrows came together and her mouth was open. Let go, Adora. Stop holding back and let go. Their eyes met and Catra did her damndest to communicate that Adora was sexy as fuck with a look since her mouth was busy. It must’ve worked. Adora’s breathing picked up and her muscles tensed as her hips made small rocking motions back and forth over Catra’s mouth.“Oh my god, Catra...something’s -shit!” Yes. Catra reached one arm up to drag her nails down Adora’s back as her body shuddered and her muscles Twitched.

Even though her tongue was tired, Catra tried to keep up the pace. I want her to do it again. But Adora pulled away slightly after she regained control. “Catra, that kind of feels like...too much now.” Oh. She gave two final slow, loving licks all the way up, which Adora seemed to enjoy, before sliding out from underneath her. 

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Her legs were still quivering and her mind was fuzzy. That was amazing. Is that what Catra felt like earlier? A quiet “wow.” Was all she managed to say. Catra smiled and Adora felt like she was going to melt all over again. “So...how many times have you done that before?” The question came out before she could stop it. Catra’s expression changed. Oh no, she’s done it lots before…I probably looked stupid. 

“Never.” Catra lowered her eyes before raising them again to meet Adora’s questioning gaze. “Adora, I’ve never done...any of that...with anyone.” 

Adora’s heart leapt in her chest. She couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face. “But that first night, you said-“ 

“I lied. I just wanted you to think I was cool, I guess. I wanted to impress you.” 

Adora leaned forward and threw her arms around Catra. “I’m glad I’m the first.” Catra returned the hug, letting one hand play with a strand of hair down Adora’s back. She moved back for a kiss. “And...I’m very impressed.” They both went red as Adora leaned in. It took an embarrassingly long time to realize why Catra’s face was wet, and what the new taste on her lips was. 

“Is that...is that what I taste like?”

“It’s good right? Shit, if I could eat you for three meals a day, I would.” Her eyes smoldered in a dangerous way, Adora’s stomach fluttered at the thought. 

“I didn’t realize you were so…” horny? “...Y’know….hungry, all the time.” 

Catra nodded. “Well not all the time. I guess I want it as much as normal people do…” That’s an interesting way to phrase it. “It’s just that, being a halfie, I also have more...animal needs, I guess?” Adora’s expression must’ve given it away that she had no idea what that meant. “I’ve been in heat for the last couple days, which is basically like the worst PMS of all time. It’s like I have no control over my body or how I’m feeling, and it makes me really horny, and if I don’t...do something about it, it can be kind of painful.” Adora thought back to how desperate Catra sounded. 

“And by do something, you mean…” she saw Catra touching herself, face down in the bed. 

“Masturbate, yeah.” 

Adora blushed again. “Why didn’t you do it sooner?” 

“We were always together, and I didn’t exactly intend to put on a show.” 

Oh, I got a show alright. Adora smiled inwardly but then thought back over the last few crazy days -all the emotional up and down with Catra. I wish she’d have told me sooner. “Well, you don’t have to do it alone, you know.” They watched each other carefully for a moment. “I’d be happy to help again.” Catra smiled back at her. “But...if you really want to do it by yourself, you can keep my jersey as long as I get to watch. I wouldn’t mind a show.” 

Catra shoved her. “Asshole.” 

“What! I like that you were thinking of me. I’m serious, I…” She propped herself back up. “I wouldn’t want you to think about anyone else…” Suddenly she felt as if she were reaching out, waiting to see if Catra would take her hand. The brunette said nothing, but Adora could see the gears working in her head. She was thinking hard about something. “Catra...I really, really like you -” 

That sly smirk made its way across her face as she licked her lips. “Oh, I know how much you like me.”   
Adora kept talking. This wasn’t the time for jokes. She needed to be honest, and needed Catra to know how she felt. “-and I want you all to myself, to be with you like this.” Catra’s smirk slowly disappeared as she was apparently lost in thought again. Adora’s heart was pounding in her chest again. The words were dancing on her tongue, dying to get out. Just say it. Ask her. “Will you be my girlfriend?” 

They tumbled out quickly and less articulate than she would’ve liked, but they were out there. Adora held her breath waiting for Catra to speak. After what seemed like years, she finally opened her mouth. “No.” All that held air she’d been holding leaked out slowly, leaving her to feel deflated. Adora felt tears prickling in her vision. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. “Adora, I want to be your everything. Because that’s what you are to me -everything. I need you.” And just as fast as it had left, color returned to the world. 

Adora threw her arms around Catra again, scared to let go. “I need you too, Catra.” 

Neither of them would remember falling asleep that night, just the intimacy of the heat between them as they lay tangled up together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why is writing smut so much harder after all the rest of the good stuff?


End file.
